Tomorrow we will bury my dad’s cremains. He passed into glory October 18 of last year. It has been a time of mixed emotions–sadness to no longer have him with us, happiness that he is with his Savior and now is whole in mind and body, no longer suffering the ravages of a brain disease.
It’s hard, though, because I begin a new chapter in my life.
Role reversal. Sandwich Generation. You know, when the child becomes the parent and the parent becomes the child.
We are helping my mom go through almost 50 years of stuff. (They would have been married 50 years this September.) Going through 32 years of living in the same house, the house I finished growing up in. It all became more real last week as we started actually clearing out closets and taking a few things off the walls. This is it. She will be selling the house and moving to a senior living apartment complex just 1/4 of a mile from me. She can literally look out her windows and see our barn! We can better take care of her there, yet she still has "her space", a little independence.
But it will certainly be different.
Each time I go over to Mom’s, I realize my days of going into that house are numbered. Sometimes I can’t think about it too much, or I’ll get weepy, and Mom doesn’t need that right now! I try to save that for when I get home.
The jacuzzi is becoming my friend! (Yeah! Our Master Suite is finished! ) Cheaper than therapy, I say! 
When we cleared out a closet yesterday, we found, of all things, the old sunlamp I used when I was in high school! I remember lying on Mom’s bed, special goggles on to protect my eyes (and glad no one could see me! 
) hoping this thing would help clear up my acne I had so badly on my face, chest and back. Well, you had to be so far from the silly thing, I don’t think it did a bit of good! Didn’t get a tan, either!
And we found my uncle’s silver trombone–well, a tarnished silver, now! My girls are having a blast (literally!) playing that thing! To think that these sweet string players would go around blasting a trombone! The neighbors must be thrilled! 
We found stuff from when my dad worked at a trailer factory almost 40 years ago! Mom’s old dentures (she claimed they were Dad’s, but her name was on them!) A straw bag I got them from San Luis Potosi, Mexico, when I spent a summer down there on a study program. We were trying to figure out what SLP on it meant. And there was this UGLY disk thing inside–once I realized it was one of those Aztec looking relic wanna-be’s, it all clicked! If you wonder why I didn’t remember buying it, this was almost 30 years ago! But I don’t feel that old! 
Life just goes by so quickly now. I hardly have time to breathe sometimes. Yet I want to savor as much as I can going through this stage. It’s always easy to want to be on the "other side" of a stage–be it the "terrible two’s" with a toddler, sickness during a pregnancy, trying to get division facts through a child’s head, broken bones (head injuries, anyone?!–that’s another blog!), or parents’ health problems–or going through years and years of memories–sometimes we just want to be done with it.
And yet, it’s during these times that we learn our best lessons. When God becomes a close friend and very real. When we learn that we can’t "do it all", neither should we try. When we realize we’re not as invincible as we thought we were, nor do we know as much as we thought we did. When we know for sure that nothing depends on us, but on us depending upon HIM!
As hard as it is, I will embrace this time. And although, to be honest, I’d rather not be in this place right now, it’s where God has me. By His grace, I will walk through, knowing my Best Friend is right beside me, guiding me, holding my hand every step of the way.
I love this quote by Andrew Murray:
"First, He brought me here, it is by His will I am in this strait place: in that fact I will rest.
Next, He will keep me here in His love, and give me grace to behave as His child.
Then, He will make the trial a blessing, teaching me the lessons He intends me to learn, and working in me the grace He means to bestow.
Last, in His good time He can bring me out again–how and when He knows.
Let me say I am here,
1) By God’s appointment,
2) In His keeping,
3) Under His training,
4) For His time."
May I ever remember this. Nothing is for nothing! Another beautiful quote by Corrie ten Boom:
"Every experience God gives us, every person He puts in our life, is the perfect preparation for the future that only He can see."
Lord, make me faithful to learn the lessons You have for me, behaving myself wisely as Your child, and may I allow You to mold me and make me, preparing me for the beautiful future I cannot see, by submitting to the hard times of today.
Blessings to you!
Trisch
Hi Trish,
I just wanted to thank you for posting that quote by Andrew Murrey! It couldn't be more applicable for my life right now. Sometimes it does one good to be reminded of the things that their minds know, but their emotions try to forget. It was a blessing!
Misty
I am so excited to meet you. I can't wait to glean from your blog. I have only six children, but I hope to have more.