The theme of my life, my motto, my principle to live by.
I’ve preached it a lot here on my blog!
This morning, I awakened much earlier than usual and had an extended quiet time with the Lord. I was pondering different things and had some thoughts that at first seem to fly in the face of what a lot of wonderful people have shared.
But on digging deeper, it isn’t so much that what I will share is going to negate what others have said. It’s dealing with the driving force, the reason behind it all.
Don’t worry! I’m not going to preach some heresy here! 
As wives, mothers and keepers of our homes, we want to be efficient, we want to be good stewards of our resources and time. There is certainly nothing wrong with training our children to work, to help out, for everyone to pitch in to make the load lighter. There is nothing wrong with using a day planner to keep track of your time and make sure the important things get done. There is nothing wrong with training children to obey.
Unless…..
That is your primary focus. What do I mean?
I find myself getting more focused on getting things done. And guess what? There ALWAYS seems to be more and more "things to get done"! When I save some time here, five more things rush in to fill it up over there!
I am not a super-organized person. I still struggle to implement writing stuff down so I don’t forget (can a type A firstborn be a scatterbrain?!) I work on those weaknesses in my character, but I am finding I must be careful on what the bottom line motivation is.
The bottom line cannot be "running the home more smoothly".
The bottom line cannot be "making it easier."
The bottom line cannot be "getting more done."
The bottom line cannot be "being more efficient."
The bottom line cannot be "first-time obedience" (hang on–you’ll see where I’m going!).
The bottom line, the motivation, the driving force behind it all is Godliness—in myself, my family, my home.
If I do all the above–run my home smoothly and efficiently, get lots done, have all my children obeying right away and helping in every way; if I let that become the goal and yet I don’t have hearts, I have missed something very important.
Relationships.
I remember Michael Pearl answering a letter in one of their newsletters. I don’t remember the whole thing verbatim, but this thought stood out to me–to resign being the boss, the prison matron, so to speak. To resign from "getting things done" and instead, go after their hearts. Spend time with them. Delight in them. Enjoy having the children around.
I can’t do that when my purpose and my goal is to have my home run smoothly. Or to have first-time obedience. Or all the other multitude of things we put first. Academics. Outside activities. Church.
If our "bottom line", our goal and motivation isn’t Godliness formed through relationships, then all the rest is but dung. Nothing.
Mamas, please remember you are forging relationships that will last into Eternity. THAT is your most important focus.
Young ladies, please remember that you can seem obedient, helpful, academically smart and quite proficient in becoming a homemaker, but if you do not have love towards your siblings, if you don’t really enjoy being with them and with your mama and daddy, you just have an empty shell.
Perhaps I’m the only one finding myself slipping into "getting things done". I am yielding my life, my "schedule", my routines, my homeschooling, my homemaking all to the Lord. That doesn’t mean I am not going to plan, and have a "que será será" attitude towards life.
But I plan to take the days, the opportunities, the moments, to build the most precious thing in the world–
Eternal relationships.
I firmly believe that the other things "shall be added unto me" as I focus on the most important thing.
Getting hearts. Keeping hearts. Tying heart strings.
Enjoying each other.
Yes, it ALL goes back to relationships.
Have a blessed day delighting in your family!
oh trisch! thank you, thank you for the post! the Spirit really used it to convict me! i just read this morning about being a sounding brass or a tinkling cymbal…thank you for following the Lord in posting this! i have 7 girls and a son who will benefit from your words today.
love,
laurie
Oh Trisch, you hit me right in the heart! And I find myself agreeing completely.
So often, I forget what a privilege it is that God has chosen me to tend to the souls of our children and need to beg His forgiveness and ask Him to turn my heart toward my little ones while there is time.
Thank you so much for the reminder!
Heather
onmysoap-box.blogspot.com
hey trish,i like your page it reminds me of the way Ruth the way she was very kind hearted and i like that in a MOM she was the most compasionate.yu remind me of a very loveing person.Thank you for letting me staying at your house it was so much fun.thank you for treating me like your daughter.I Love you very much.Love Amber
This was so very good…
All the things moms get caught up in for all the right reasons… and a great way to share tying heartstrings. This should be our main goal.
You put it lovely.
I hope you don't mind I shared it: http://trainingdaughtersteachingwives.com/?p=854
I shared some of the Seven Sisters' stories too…
(((HUGS)))
Love to you sister~
J
Delighting in your children, in your family… they really can tell whether or not we do, can't they?
Thank you for the sweet comment and hugs on my blog. I do covet your continued prayers for me and my family, dear Trisch!
God bless you,
Marsha
http://www.othersuchhappenings.com
Hi Trisch–I have that on my cell phone when I first turn it on. Thanks for the great reminder on this–our 1st "official" start date for schooling. I found myself, all day, looking to "what needed doing next". Not that that isn't good, as you said. But, WOW, it took over WAY too much of my thoughts! And I think we all payed for it! I spent some time with the Lord at noon time and journaling and confessing.
One thing the Lord has taught me in recent months is that Life—all of Life—are just the tools God uses to bring Himself glory. Our marriages, children, work, church, neighbors, big home or little home, money or no money, troubles or pleasant lines—all of it is about Him being glorified!
Great thoughts, Trisch!
Jennifer (just7)
Great reflections and philosophy, Trisch. God bless you!
JeanM
Thanks, Mrs. Richardson, for the reminder. : ) And thank you for putting the paragraph to us young ladies… it's easy to put things like this under "future advice" or something like that. : ) It definitely applies to all, though.
I certainly forget that it's the relationship that's first quite often. God has a way of reminding me, though, whenever I stray. : ) Thanks for being His 'voice'. : )
He used a recent conference and someone's comments afterward to remind me of the same thing in my relationship with Him. It's all about loving Jesus Christ… not doing all those very good things(devotions, memorizing His Word, etc.). Obviously, you should do those things out of a love for Him; but like you said, it's the motivation. I almost missed it at the conference(although I remember them stressing it); but God graciously had someone else mention it later.
Sorry for being long-winded. You know me. ; D
Love to you all… God bless!
~DB : )
I love how you talked about relationships….I know that in my head….but my life has had so much stress, and sickness…that I find myself on 'survival mode'. I love God…(just a side-note.)
I need to love myself first (i know we are all gods and goddesses as Jesus said…and I have always been working through forgiveness…and letting go of the past. I feel that I'm really getting close. The Spirit has been 'tapping' me on the shoulder about the 'Eternal Retionships' vs. order/task/obediance thing for a few months….
I also am dealing with my 16yo sons anger…and wish I had just been there for him, and not 'run from his anger'….I love him so….
I
Yes, you need to submit your own heart, first. I totally understand being in survival mode–I feel like we've been there for about 5 years!
As important as the other things are (running a home, obedience, school), the relationships must–absolutely MUST–be first.
And it starts with *your* relationship with God. Then with your spouse (if any), then with your children. If we are bitter at God for the circumstances in our lives, or at our husbands for any reason (whether they did anything "wrong" or not), then our relationships with our children will be out of whack, because we will either cater more to the dc because of these things, or we will be angry when the dc don't toe the line, because we are trying to prove something.
Either way the enemy wins. And the only way to get him to flee from you is "submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he wil flee from you."
(James 4:7)
But don't forget the next verse!
"Draw nigh to God (communion with God), and He will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded."
As we submit, then we can resist, and then we can draw nigh, and then we can cleanse and purify.
It's a progression, like so many other things in life.
And remember, He can restore the "years the locusts have eaten" in your life, in your relationships.
Take time be in communion with your Heavenly Bridegroom and Lover of your soul. Ask Him to forgive you and give you His grace and strength to make changes. And spend time listening. Be still.
Then, when you're ready, go to your son and ask his forgiveness. Tell him you really want to heal your relationship. Listen to him, really listen to him, if he opens up (that may come later). Don't judge, just listen. And pray!
If you can get a copy of The Heart of the King by Ron Auch, I highly recommend it. It is a devotional of Psalm 119, but it focuses on our relationship to God. I really think it would help heal your heart and soul, and perhaps your son's, too, if he'd be willing to read it.
I hope that helps you, encourages you! You will be in my prayers.
{{{HUGS}}}
In Him Who Is Our ALL~
Trisch
Can you explain why some of the daughters and yourself wear something on your heads?
Thank you for the reminder. I sometimes find myself focusing on what 'needs' to be done or what isn't getting done. This hit my heart. Thank you for being an encouragement and a blessing.
~Kristine
Hi, Mrs. Richardson.
My name’s Julie. We’re a migrant family from Taiwan and settled in Christchurch, New Zealand in 1995.
Thanks for sharing the blog that will certainly touch every mother’s heart to certain extent. Having raised 4 children and time has passed so quickly that the youngest will turn 20 in Feb. Looking back, I wished I could have done things differently in so many aspects. But it’s no use sitting in regrets because at least we’ve tried our best when we were younger and less mature. What I’d like to see is that our next generation will be humble enough to avoid the same mistakes from our experiences.
I’d appreciate it if you can send me a message to my email address.
Regards,
Julie