I feel as if I’m in the calm before the storm! So far today, one daughter was feeling pretty yucky with a fever, a few more were warm, and yet a few more had headaches. We’ll see in the next 24-48 hours whether some, none or all get chicken pox!
I’m armed with a new thermometer, vitamins, herbs….I’ve written out what everyone should be taking to boost their immune system and we have Aveeno, lavender oil and oatmeal for baths! I’m not going down without a fight! 
Today’s crisis has made my usual routine for this day a bit different. Usually on this day, I buy a carnation, then visit the cemetery.
I did visit the cemetery for a few moments. There’s a heart shaped stone there, with the name of our first son on it. He was born 18 years ago yesterday, but he had already gone to be with the Lord a few days sooner. Up until 4 years ago, (when my husband had his serious accident), it was the hardest thing I had ever gone through. Yet the Lord saw me through, as He has so faithfully seen me through many things since, great and small.
I distinctly remember coming out of the funeral home and feeling like I was going to collapse. A dear, dear man of God, Brother Bob Boggs came up to me. Here was a man who had known sorrow and suffering as companions! He had lost his only son in an accident, then later a married daughter to cancer. His dear wife was in the nursing home with Alzheimers, yet he moved near her and loved and cherished her until the day she died. When he came up to me, he said, "The Lord strengthen you!" Immediately I felt just that–the Lord’s strength!
It was so hard–our first son (we’d had two beautiful daughters before him), the first grandson on my side, and the first grandson to "carry the family name" on my husband’s side, which really meant a lot to my father-in-law. God certainly carried me through that time. And I definitely had my questioning times. I’ve told people it was more of an open handed "why?" than a demanding fisted why. Through it all, I ultimately knew I could trust the infinite wisdom of my Heavenly Father. I spend a lot of time at the cemetery those first weeks. Healing. Not just for him, but for the 6 miscarriages that were before him. Then as healing became more complete, I just don’t need to go there much anymore.
But there will always be that little hole in our family.
Of course I wonder what he would be like now, practically a man. I do know he’d be with his daddy, learning about construction!
His being in Heaven made it all the sweeter–I have "treasure" there, now. Actually, I have 13 treasures there! We’ve had 12 miscarriages, as well. Dallas and I went to see a play several years ago called "Heaven’s Gates and Hell’s Flames". One scenario was a family on their way home from church, rejoicing that the youngest daughter had accepted Christ. The mother started weeping, remembering a dear little daughter that had gone on to be with Jesus, and the father comforted her, saying, "Just think, we’ll all be together forever!" Then they had an "accident" and found themselves standing before Heaven’s gates. They jumped up and down shouting "We made it! We made it!"
During this play, whenever a believer "died", Jesus would come out and welcome them with a hug. This time, He held up his hand and motioned for someone to come out with Him–it was their little daughter! Oh, what joy and rejoicing at that reunion! Dallas and I held each other, crying and saying, "Just think! That’s what it will be like for us! Only what a ‘Welcome Home’ committee we’ll have!!!" Of course we want to see Jesus most of all! After all, it’s because of Him we can be all together for eternity!
We talked of whether we would ever use the name "Noah" again. Not for the next boy, Dallas said. Little did we know the "next boy" would come 14 years later! Still, I was surprised when Dallas wanted to use the name Noah. So from early in the pregnancy, Noah’s name was chosen! Noah Ross means "Comfort in Victory". We chose Noah Isaac, "Comfort in Laughter". It was funny to think of a boy after 7 girls, and after 14 years! What I didn’t know, is I would laugh in God’s timing of Noah’s birth, and in His provision for us during a difficult time after Dallas’ serious truck accident (just 3 weeks before Noah Isaac’s birth!). And he was a "comfort" to me during that time, too!
Two years later, we were again blessed with a boy! I joked with Dallas he better name this one after him, since I was 44 at the time and you just never know! (I’d gladly take more, by the way!). Yet we thought it would be sweet to use Noah Ross’ middle name (which is also one of my grandpas’ names!). So we did. Both boys have a part of his name. They don’t replace their older brother. But short as his life was here on earth, his memory lives on.
Someday, the boys will go with me to the cemetery, and they’ll understand they have an older brother who has gone on to Heaven before us. And they’ll know how grateful I am that Jesus died to save us, to comfort us in our sorrows, to help us in our trials, and to take us Home to be with Him forever. What precious promises!
I had sang a song at church just 3 weeks before Noah Ross’ death. During the long labor, the chorus went through my head over and over. I knew I had to sing that song at Noah’s "dedication" service–his funeral. It was just as much a dedication, though–after all, a baby dedication is "giving them back to God"–in this case, God had chosen to take him. I was "giving him back" in my heart.
With God’s help, I did sing that song. And 17 years later my older girls and I sang it by my dad’s casket just before we left, the last ones to go. Here are the verses and chorus to "When We See Christ". I pray it will minister to you, today, whatever your trial may be.
Trisch
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Oftimes the day seems long, our trials hard to bear,
We’re tempted to complain, to murmur and despair;
But Christ will soon appear to catch His Bride away,
All tears forever over, in God’s eternal day.
Sometimes the sky looks dark with not a ray of light,
We’re tossed and driven on, no human help in sight;
But there is One in Heav’n Who knows our deepest care,
Let Jesus solve your problem–just go to Him in pray’r.
Life’s day will soon be o’er, all storms forever past,
We’ll cross the great divide to Glory, safe at last;
We’ll share the joys of Heav’n–a harp, a home, a crown,
The tempter will be banished, we’ll lay our burden down.
It will be worth it all when we see Jesus,
Life’s trials will seem so small when we see Christ;
One glimpse of His dear face all sorrow will erase,
So bravely run the race till we see Christ.
I love you , Trisch .
Eshell