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Fabulous Family Friday–Love Your Mother!

I wasn’t going to post today, but I had some thoughts, and thought it was appropriate, in memory of my mom, to share them with you.



My mom lived just 1/4 mile from me for these past two years.   I am ashamed to say that we really didn’t see each other as much as we’d have liked to.  We did call each other nearly every other day.



Life is busy, especially for homeschooling mamas of many (or littles–or both!).



Maybe your mom isn’t a believer or you feel at odds for whatever reason.



May I offer some hindsight advice?



I used to stand so strong on "principle" (aka "being right")  that I actually became just as wrong.   I needed to "do right".  Not just "be right".   (That’s a whole ‘nuther post!)



I’ve mellowed some.  Sometimes, in trying to "protect my children from bad influences", I have gone overboard.   Don’t get me wrong, we do need to be vigilant to protect our children.   But sometimes, we shoot ourselves in the foot doing so.




It’s not "keep relationships at any cost"…but relationships are important and too many of us think we have a good reason to sever it, or even distance ourselves, when we really don’t.





I’m thankful that my mom’s and my relationship was very good over the past few years.  We grew much closer. 




But I wish I had acted on some impulses.




If you wait  until school is going well, the dishes and laundry are caught up, and you feel good about life to do some of these things, then you will never do them.



So, for me, will you please take the time SOON to do one or more of these (or whatever the Lord prompts you to do) with your mom?



~ Buy her a nice teacup (and a matching one for you) and some tea, and go have tea with her.   If you have littles, bring some little cups for them and give them juice.  Oh, you didn’t get math done?   Don’t worry.  You can catch up when your mom is gone.



~Pick up a nice bunch of flowers for her.   They have them at Wal-Mart fairly inexpensively.  Or maybe you have lilacs or roses or something blooming at home.  When you cut some for you, take her some, too.  Don’t wait to buy her flowers for her casket spray.



~Just stop by for a few minutes to give her a hug and see how’s she’s doing.  And if she wants you to sit and visit awhile, do it.  If she leaves the tv on while you’re visiting, pick a time when game shows or Green Acres is on.  You and your children will not die spiritually from a few exposures.  Your kids will not remember the insipid tv, but they will remember going to see Grandma.




~Take your mom out for lunch.   Yes, you pay for it.   I know, money’s tight.  Save your change.  Ask the Lord.  If you really want to do it, He will make a way.   Or don’t you really believe Him when He says, "Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.  In ALL your ways acknowledge Him, and HE WILL DIRECT YOUR PATHS."?   Believe me, you will wish you had made a way later. 



~Find some little something you think she’d like at a thrift store.   It doesn’t have to be fancy or big.  She probably doesn’t need a lot of knick-knacks, but if you see something and tell her, "Mom, I saw this and it just made me think of you!"  it will probably become quite precious to her.  And when you go through her stuff after she is gone, it will bring a sweet smile to your heart to comfort you.



~Send her a card just to say "I love you, Mom!"   Again, when you find it among her stuff later, it will comfort your heart.



And please don’t tell me what a horrible witch your mom is.  I know, there are all kinds of people out there.  Some are really not Godly at all.  But she gave you life.  And God chose to bring you into this world through her, and if for nothing else, you can be grateful for that.



I have found that, if we look for the good, we will find it.  Even if it’s nearly covered in not-so-good traits. 



It’s a choice.



Just like it’s a choice to pick up the phone and say, "I was thinking of you and wanted to say I love you!"   or just "Haven’t talked to you for awhile and wondered how you’re doing?"



And don’t try to multi-task while on the phone.  Really listen.  Write down the funny things she tells you about or memories.  No, you will NOT remember them later.  Trust me.



Today, would you be willing to put aside your busyness, your agenda, your schedule, your differences, your "rightness", and just love your mom?



For me?



Because I can never do all those things I meant to do.   I’m grateful for the ones I DID do, but there are many that I didn’t, for what are now not very good reasons.



I know it’s tough, as I said, to live life, and yet make time for relationships.



But which do you really believe pleases God?



Again, please, PLEASE do this for me.  



If God prompts you to do something and you think you’ll do that next week—DO IT NOW.



I have two mothers-in-law, and I haven’t been with them as much as I should have.



That will change.   I may not have my mom on earth anymore, but I still have them.



Thank you for your prayers and Scriptures, they mean so much!




And now……go tell your mom that you love her.




And give her a hug.



And give her another one for me.



Thank you, Mom, for giving me life.  Thank you, for the past two years of our relationship.  I wish it could have been longer.  I wish I would have come in more, made you come here more.  You didn’t want to intrude.  I didn’t want to intrude on your independence, either. Weren’t we silly?!

I love you, Mom, and I’m going to miss your calls.  I actually took a picture of the caller id from your last call, the last time you talked to anyone.  I know God is Sovereign and His timing is perfect, so I rest in that.  He has given me assurance that you are with Him, and that comforts my heart.

I’m glad for the hugs and "I love yous" we did have. 


Thank you, Lord, for giving me to my mom.  You had a perfect plan.  May I carry her memory always, and thank you for Your love towards me now, too.

I’ll see you again, Mom!  For now, enjoy those grandbabies in Heaven!


8 Responses to “Fabulous Family Friday–Love Your Mother!”

  1. MamaMirage @ http://everypreciousjoy.blogspot.com/ says:

    My mom is dying. She's been fighting breast cancer for over 8 years. There is nothing anyone but God can do for her. She refuses to give up and die so the doctors are in awe that her body can still stand up on it's own but not only that, she is still taking care of the farm. She lives 6 1/2 hours drive away from us. We are planning a visit up there next week- we have not seen them since Christmas and it will be the last time I can safely travel far this pregnancy. I hope it's not the last time I get to see her at all.

  2. Anonymous says:

    dear friend for speaking words of conviction…with such love and grace. Am taking them to heart.

    With much love and many prayers!


  3. Anonymous says:

    dear friend for speaking words of conviction with such love and grace. I am taking them to heart.

    With much love and many prayers,


  4. AJ says:

    That was a beautiful post.

  5. OldPathsMom says:

    What a post! If I could sit down and share with you the events of this weekend, you would know how it hit soooo very close to home. God bless you for your honesty. Thank you.

  6. fruitbuns says:

    My mum isn't a believer. Still praying!

    How are you doing?

  7. Sarah W. says:

    thank you for this post I have a very strained relationship with my mom & this post has been a true blessing. I hope to find some pretty tea cups at the dollar store this week & have a good lng visit with my mom.

    • Trisch says:

      Sarah, I will be praying for you! Thank you for making the effort–I have a whole post I want to do on worshiping with prayer, but to give you a little foretaste ;)

      Bathe your plans in prayer, but don’t just pray for God to open her heart, and yours, and whatever else–use a hymn and a psalm or just a verse the Lord gives you to PRAISE Him for what He is already doing in your life and hers through this time. A beautiful thought from a book I’m reading by Dick Eastman (in “Heights of Delight”) is this:

      “Declare in song (worship) and prayer (intercession) that God dwells, or is enthroned, in every situation.”

      He is Lord of all, and He desires unity even more than we do! God moved and brought my mom and I much closer these past 2 years than I dreamed possible–I nearly gave up after 20 years!

      Ask Him to let you see things through your mom’s eyes. He will help you!

      Again, I’ll be praying for you! Please let me know how it went–you can e-mail me at tinklingbells (at) medt (dot) com.


      In Christ Alone~


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