A Gracefull Place

Since I will be gone tomorrow, I thought I’d post a day early!

 

 

This week is going to be geared more for you mommies of littles!  I remember years ago reading in Mary Pride’s "Help for Growing Families" newsletter, a mom of older children say, "A 6 year old that can set the table is great—but a 13 year old that can single-handedly clean the bathroom is worth her weight in gold!"

 

AMEN!

 

 

But–you can’t wait until they’re 13 to teach them to help!  In fact, if you have not been training them in servanthood all along, you will not reap the harvest later!

 

 

LET them "help" now.  Yes, even as 1 1/2 and 3 year olds!   They can "help" you do dishes–yes, I know, they make more of a mess than if they didn’t help!  But that way you can clean the fronts of the cupboards and mop the floor, too! 

 

 

 

Just an attitude of "I like you and I want you around" can go soooo far in training them!  As you delight in them, they will want even more to help and please you and be around you.  They will like helping and you establish a bonding during this time.

 

 

I’ll let you in on a hard-earned secret—many "experts" are saying this, but remember–when I started out there wasn’t the internet nor the plethora of voices you have today!

 

 

"Chores" are more for building relationships and training character than for getting things done!   (You knew I was going to bring this back around to relationships, didn’t you!    )   In fact, I remember a quote by Marilyn  Howshall:

 

"Character training adds time to every duty, and every duty must stop for character training."

I know it’s hard when you have supper to fix, laundry to keep up, baby to nurse, toddler to feed…..but you must, must, must take this to heart.

 

 

So, now you ask, HOW?!

 

 

One thing I remember doing when my four oldest were small, was asking my husband what top three things he wanted done each day.   That gave me direction when "life" happened and I didn’t know what my #1 priority was!!!  They all screamed for attention!

 

For my husband, it was dishes done (or at least not piled to the ceiling!), laundry done (he didn’t mind helping with laundry, but not if he had to transfer everything just to get a load in!), and the house picked up enough he didn’t need a scoop shovel to get through!  He wasn’t expecting pristine conditions–just a general pick up.

 

Now, your littles can help you sort laundry and put it in the wash, then transfer to the dryer or help you hang things out.  Or play nearby while you hang them out.   They can help wash dishes, put some away (silverware has always been a favorite among my littles!), and can set the table, too.  They can obviously help pick things up.  In fact, you could have a "Daddy Blessing Time" when a half hour before Daddy is due home, you can set the timer and "race" to get things picked up and nice for Daddy!  This helps build excitement, honor and love for your husband as your children see you want to make things nice for Daddy’s homecoming.  And you know what?  It will help your flagging energy and attitude, too!

 

 

Also take time to read to your little ones.  We can get sooooo busy with the homekeeping chores that we keep putting off these things.  I wish I had taken more time to read aloud than I did.  Those things that scream for your attention will still be there.  Trust me!  It never "all" gets "done"!!!!   There is an article I read years ago called "The Tyrany of the Urgent".  It is worth a read!   We must daily choose between the "urgent" and the "important".  The "good" and the "best".   Mike Bickle talks of burnout–that it isn’t doing too much, but "doing" in power of the flesh and not the power of the Spirit.   I fear we mamas are far more guilty of that than we realize!

 

 

It takes constantly looking into His face (yes, between diapers and dishes!), continuing to look up and ask Him, "What do YOU want me to do, today, Lord?  What are YOUR priorities for me?"

 

 

Often it is just doing the "next thing", but don’t crowd out snuggles, cuddles, giggles and read-alouds!

 

 

Have a "tea party" with your little daughter while her baby brother is sleeping.

 

 

Help your 3 year old budding engineer build the train system of his dreams while his baby sister is napping or safe nearby in her bouncy seat.

 

 

Yes, I know.  Naptime is "your" time to get things done.  I’m not saying do this every day.  But once a week or two, you can forego your agenda to build memories and relationships with your little ones.

 

 

I think you’ll find them more willing helpers when they see mama takes time to play sometimes, too!

 

 

Even just coloring a page in their colorbook with them can mean so much!   And listening to their sweet chatter.   Believe me, young mama–before you blink twice, they will be grown and you will yearn to color beside them and hear that sweet nonsense chatter just once more!

 

 

One last piece of practical advice–get your "servants" going!   My husband bought me a bread machine one year, a food processor another.   His co-workers said, "Nothing with a cord on it counts for a present for your wife!"  To which he responded, "You don’t know my wife!"  

 

 

These "servants" can help you in your homemaking greatly!  Probably THE NUMBER ONE "servant" you must have is the crock pot.  There are so many good cookbooks out there with good meal ideas using the crock pot.   Please make use of this wonderful servant to help you get at least one area under control!  

 

 

Oh, and something else I read in Feed Your Family for $12 a Day   is to split your dinner preparation up.   The author did 15 minutes in the morning, then 15-30 minutes before supper.   That can help greatly if dinner is on its way before the "suicide hour"!  

 

 

Now one last piece of "relational" advice!   Take time to nourish your own spirit.  Even if you have to catch it in "snippets" here and there, read devotional books and articles that encourage you and lift your spirit.  NOT the ones making you feel like a failure!  Or giving you 20 more things you "should" be doing!  ACK!

 

 

Here’s a GREAT place to start:  Laine’s Letters.   I love Laine!   You could print a few off at a time, and either read one while little ones are napping, or before bed (if you’re a night owl!), or just whenever you can catch a few minutes.   They are very good and encouraging! 

 

 

I hope this week’s Fabulous Family Friday has been an encouragement!   And if there are specific areas you would like to know more about, please feel free to either comment and ask or e-mail me.  I don’t pretend to have arrived, nor to know all the answers, but if I can help, I would gladly do so!  

 

 

HUGS to you, young mamas!  Enjoy them as much as you can!

 

 

 

 

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