I wasn’t going to post today, but I had some thoughts, and thought it was appropriate, in memory of my mom, to share them with you.
My mom lived just 1/4 mile from me for these past two years. I am ashamed to say that we really didn’t see each other as much as we’d have liked to. We did call each other nearly every other day.
Life is busy, especially for homeschooling mamas of many (or littles–or both!).
Maybe your mom isn’t a believer or you feel at odds for whatever reason.
May I offer some hindsight advice?
I used to stand so strong on "principle" (aka "being right") that I actually became just as wrong. I needed to "do right". Not just "be right". (That’s a whole ‘nuther post!)
I’ve mellowed some. Sometimes, in trying to "protect my children from bad influences", I have gone overboard. Don’t get me wrong, we do need to be vigilant to protect our children. But sometimes, we shoot ourselves in the foot doing so.
It’s not "keep relationships at any cost"…but relationships are important and too many of us think we have a good reason to sever it, or even distance ourselves, when we really don’t.
I’m thankful that my mom’s and my relationship was very good over the past few years. We grew much closer.
But I wish I had acted on some impulses.
If you wait until school is going well, the dishes and laundry are caught up, and you feel good about life to do some of these things, then you will never do them.
So, for me, will you please take the time SOON to do one or more of these (or whatever the Lord prompts you to do) with your mom?
~ Buy her a nice teacup (and a matching one for you) and some tea, and go have tea with her. If you have littles, bring some little cups for them and give them juice. Oh, you didn’t get math done? Don’t worry. You can catch up when your mom is gone.
~Pick up a nice bunch of flowers for her. They have them at Wal-Mart fairly inexpensively. Or maybe you have lilacs or roses or something blooming at home. When you cut some for you, take her some, too. Don’t wait to buy her flowers for her casket spray.
~Just stop by for a few minutes to give her a hug and see how’s she’s doing. And if she wants you to sit and visit awhile, do it. If she leaves the tv on while you’re visiting, pick a time when game shows or Green Acres is on. You and your children will not die spiritually from a few exposures. Your kids will not remember the insipid tv, but they will remember going to see Grandma.
~Take your mom out for lunch. Yes, you pay for it. I know, money’s tight. Save your change. Ask the Lord. If you really want to do it, He will make a way. Or don’t you really believe Him when He says, "Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In ALL your ways acknowledge Him, and HE WILL DIRECT YOUR PATHS."? Believe me, you will wish you had made a way later.
~Find some little something you think she’d like at a thrift store. It doesn’t have to be fancy or big. She probably doesn’t need a lot of knick-knacks, but if you see something and tell her, "Mom, I saw this and it just made me think of you!" it will probably become quite precious to her. And when you go through her stuff after she is gone, it will bring a sweet smile to your heart to comfort you.
~Send her a card just to say "I love you, Mom!" Again, when you find it among her stuff later, it will comfort your heart.
And please don’t tell me what a horrible witch your mom is. I know, there are all kinds of people out there. Some are really not Godly at all. But she gave you life. And God chose to bring you into this world through her, and if for nothing else, you can be grateful for that.
I have found that, if we look for the good, we will find it. Even if it’s nearly covered in not-so-good traits.
It’s a choice.
Just like it’s a choice to pick up the phone and say, "I was thinking of you and wanted to say I love you!" or just "Haven’t talked to you for awhile and wondered how you’re doing?"
And don’t try to multi-task while on the phone. Really listen. Write down the funny things she tells you about or memories. No, you will NOT remember them later. Trust me.
Today, would you be willing to put aside your busyness, your agenda, your schedule, your differences, your "rightness", and just love your mom?
For me?
Because I can never do all those things I meant to do. I’m grateful for the ones I DID do, but there are many that I didn’t, for what are now not very good reasons.
I know it’s tough, as I said, to live life, and yet make time for relationships.
But which do you really believe pleases God?
Again, please, PLEASE do this for me.
If God prompts you to do something and you think you’ll do that next week—DO IT NOW.
I have two mothers-in-law, and I haven’t been with them as much as I should have.
That will change. I may not have my mom on earth anymore, but I still have them.
Thank you for your prayers and Scriptures, they mean so much!
And now……go tell your mom that you love her.
And give her a hug.
And give her another one for me.
Thank you, Mom, for giving me life. Thank you, for the past two years of our relationship. I wish it could have been longer. I wish I would have come in more, made you come here more. You didn’t want to intrude. I didn’t want to intrude on your independence, either. Weren’t we silly?!
I love you, Mom, and I’m going to miss your calls. I actually took a picture of the caller id from your last call, the last time you talked to anyone. I know God is Sovereign and His timing is perfect, so I rest in that. He has given me assurance that you are with Him, and that comforts my heart.
I’m glad for the hugs and "I love yous" we did have.
Thank you, Lord, for giving me to my mom. You had a perfect plan. May I carry her memory always, and thank you for Your love towards me now, too.
I’ll see you again, Mom! For now, enjoy those grandbabies in Heaven!
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