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Fabulous Family Friday–First of the 3Rs

Friday, July 9th, 2010

 

 

First, I want to thank you all for praying for my dear friend’s 5 year old daughter who had spinal meningitis–PRAISE the LORD it was viral!  She is home and doing well–better and better each day!

 

 

I know you’ve all heard of the “3Rs”–Readin’, wRitin’ and aRithmatic.  (Not good for spelling, but I guess it works! LOL!)

 

I have another “acronym” use for the 3Rs–Relationship, Relationship, Relationship!  ;)

 

(That’s Relationship with God, Relationship with your husband, and Relationship with your children!)

 

So today, I’m going to address the first R on the academic side–or should we call it, First R (a)?!

 

 

First the “Readin” R.

 

 

Teaching your child to read can be one of the most rewarding things in life! 

 

Teaching your child to read can be one of the most frustrating things in life!

 

 

It all depends on your motivation and your approach!  Are you teaching them out of fear of state standards?  What your mother (or neighbor) thinks?  Because all your homeschooling friends are?  Because they’re “supposed to” know how to read by age 6?  (I’m sure it’s stated somewhere in Scripture….maybe one of our pastor friend’s favorite book of 2 Hezekiah! ;) )

 

Why do we teach our children to read?   I mean, really?  

 

  • So they can function in society
  • So they can eventually learn independently, requiring less of mama’s oversight
  •  So they can read and learn God’s Word

 

All of those are really good reasons, but of course you know the third one is the most important.   If you teach your child to read at 6 (or 3 or 10 or whatever) and they function well and successfully in society, but they don’t pick up the Scriptures and read them and allow God to speak to them through Them…..then what good was teaching them to read?

We “reward” the children when they learn to read by buying them a nice Bible with their name imprinted on it.   I buy a large print Bible, making it easier for beginner reading eyes to read.   So far, only one of the 4 older girls has bought a different Bible than the one she started with–and that was after 7 years!

Each little girl excitedly asks, “When will I get my Bible?!”    We usually give it to them for their birthday or Christmas, whichever comes next after they learn to read.    No, they probably can’t understand every word, but they are quite proud to have a Bible of their own to do copywork out of and to read for “quiet time”!

I will confess that so far, 5 of my 7 girls have been later bloomers in reading.   I was worried about the first late bloomer, and one day I thought, “Isn’t this why I homeschool?  To be able to allow them to learn at their pace?”

I relaxed a little and backed off being so intense.  By 8 1/2 she was reading, and by 11 I had to pry her nose out of books!   I remember one season I actually had to limit her reading!!! 

Now, what was I worried about?  :D

I realize there are sometimes issues that make it hard to learn to read and I am not qualified to advise about that. 

So what did I use? 

I started with Writing Road to Reading.  Very thorough.  Very intense.  After 6 weeks, Jessica and I were both tired of it!    I then used a “method” I had heard at a homeschooling conference.   I use the word “method” loosely!  There was no curriculum, no books.  If you have something that has the basic phonics rules in it, that will do.

The lady sharing this used Matthew 5 to teach her child reading.  No kidding!  I started doing that with Jessica, and she delightedly said, “Mommy, I like this so much better than when you stand at the chalkboard and say, ‘old’!”

You take the first part of Matthew 5:1:  “And seeing the multitudes….”

And.  You would help your child sound this out (obviously, you have taught the sounds by now.  Maybe just to these letters plus a few).    Now have your child add a “b”.  Baaaannnnnd.   “h”  Haaaannnnnnd.   Even have them try the ones that don’t make words.  “j” Jannnnnnd.

You get the idea!

You’d teach that in a short word, the vowel usually makes it’s “short” sound. 

You might only do that for one day or several, depending on your child.  Then the next time, drop the “d” at the end and do it all over again!

ban, can, Dan (could quick point out we make “mama letters” for names!), fan, man, pan, ran, tan, van.

Next time, take off the n and put the d back on.  You’re off!

bad, dad (or Dad!), fad, had, lad, mad, pad, sad

Next go to “see”–the first syllable in “seeing”.  You could even spend a “lesson” or two on syllables, having your child clap the names in your family.  Don’t quiz them on it or make a big deal about it.  Have fun!

Okay, so “see” makes the “long e” sound.  Here we go again!

bee, Dee (if you know anyone with that name!), fee, Lee, wee (vocab–tell them it means small!)

Obviously some harder ones you won’t do.  And if they say, “Oh, nee!” you can explain that’s a special one that they’ll learn later.  Commend them for a good try!

Next is “ing”.   You got it!

king, ping, ring, sing, wing

“The” would teach the “th” sound and that vowels at the end of a word say their name (or you could save that for “he” later in the verse!).

“Multitudes” has the CVC as well as the CVCV patterns.  If that is Greek to you, I mean:

Consonant-short Vowel-Consonant (mul) such as “can” or “red”  and

Consonant-Vowel-Consonant-Vowel  (tude) such as “cane” or “rope”.

You can have fun teaching “silent e” and change words just by adding “e”!  (Or the “when two vowels go walking the first one does the talking” rule).

can/cane; man/mane; pet/Pete; rob/robe…..

If that is hard to think through or follow, then the next easiest thing for me, and one I also used, was Ruth Beechik’s simple but wonderful (as anything by her is!) “The 3R Series“.   The “readin'” one is “A Home Start in Reading” (although I’d buy all three!).  And here is a review by Cathy Duffy.  (Although I would disagree that they need extra “learning activities” to learn–mine didn’t always need that!)

Here is Cathy’s review of The 3R Series.

Even if you choose to use something more traditional, please read Mrs. Beechik’s A Home Start in Reading to demystify the whole process of reading for you!

Now maybe you need something YET a little more….structured.  (That word is used sparingly around here…..LOL!)  When Anna was learning to read  my dad was falling and ending up at the hospital all the time, had surgery, ended up in a nursing home….so I needed something very simple.  I went with a book that has mixed reviews, but we ended up liking it!  Teach a Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons.     Here again is Mrs. Duffy’s review. 

As she states, many people are hesitant because of the distorted alphabet.   But I will tell you that it did not phase Anna.  She took off reading, maybe had a few times I had to remind her of blends (like “sh” and “ch”), but overall did not have any issues with it.  Another criticism of 100 Easy Lessons is that the stories are silly.  Well, I didn’t find any of them bad, and yes, sometimes they were really off the wall, but the kids liked them!  It is scripted and easy to pretty much look over in a day and use the next.  I did NOT repeat everything as often as the book said, unless a child was having a huge problem with something.  Plenty of review built in!

Now Bekah and Charissa didn’t care for it as much, so I invested in something I had been wanting to check out for awhile.  Happy Phonics  from Love to Learn.

I confess we do not do the Explode the Code workbooks with it.  I had a post, “Happy Phonics, Happy Mama!”  awhile back about how we do Happy Phonics.   We ? Happy Phonics!

I would go with the regular set and pay shipping–there is an e-book option, but you get ALL of it already on cardstock for basically the same price!   For busy mamas, it’s worth the extra few $$!

I have taught Rebekah mainly this way, and Charissa is learning.  I’m reinforcing phonics with Anna to help with spelling–she loves it, too!   Noah and Isaiah want to do it with me, too–but I keep it very low-key for them, as I explain in my other post.

Happy Phonics is where we’ll stay, I believe!  And no, I don’t foresee doing the bookwork of Explode the Code–although of all the workbooks out there, I would recommend that series.   Here is Cathy’s review of Explode the Code–one of her Top 100 Picks!

One last resource I would like to recommend, although it is not something you “take out of a box and do”, is Teach a Child to Read with Children’s Books by Mark B. Thogmartin. 

I had one daughter that did not learn the traditional “phonics first” way.  That’s why I love Mr. Thogmartin’s book!  He says it’s not phonics or whole-word but both.  Children really do use both ways to learn, and some lean more heavily on one than the other.  The same daughter learns piano the same way–none of this right hand, then the left hand, then put them together.  It’s put them together from the start!   But that’s the way she learns.

I am editing this to say that the free copy on the internet is not by permission of Mr. Thogmartin and Mrs. Gallagher.  He graciously commented below that he has rewritten his book and it is now available at Teach a Child to Read.  My apologies to Mr. Thogmartin, as I didn’t know he was rewriting his excellent book and that the “free” ones were without his permission! 

Although I have an older copy of his book, I may just spring for this revised version!

Do you know what I like about most of these “methods”?  They don’t require a lot of drill and kill.   And they can be done snuggling together on the couch!  (Well, Happy Phonics is more on the floor! ;) )

And you know me–anything that builds relationships is TOP on my priority list!

I hope something here is helpful to you, and let me tell you that there really is no great mystery or perfect curriculum.  Sometimes you just need to allow time.   But when they”take off”, it is the most thrilling thing to me!!!

Happy teaching, happy reading and happy snuggling!  :-D

 

 

 

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Fabulous Family Friday–Friends Part 2 & The Great Escape!

Friday, July 2nd, 2010

 

First thing–please pray for some dear friends whose 5 year old daughter has meningitis.  She is in the hospital and last I heard with a 104.9 temp.   I also don’t know if it’s bacterial or viral.   Her name is Susannah.  Thank you for your prayers!

 

 

One area of friendships I didn’t address last week was–mama’s friends!

We need to be just as careful to not form closer relationships outside the home than we have with our family (and it goes without saying with the Lord first!).   I have had times where I had to pull back from calling or going to things with friends.   Again, you can both be the most Godly of women, but after awhile…well, we are fleshly and all it takes is one wife who needs to deal with God about her attitude towards her husband, but it’s soooo much easier to talk to her friend(s)….and before you know it, you have devolved into a husband bashing session! 

Oh, we’re quite spiritual about it!  We wouldn’t say, “That no-good bum!  He expects me to do ____ and _____ and all he does is ______……”  

But we can “ask for prayer” even for “my attitude” and still paint our husbands in a less-than-favorable light.   There are times when we may need to bare our hearts to one trusted friend to pray with us.  But not every friend you have in exquisite detail!!!

I challenge you to honor your husband, even when perhaps he is not acting honorably.  Of course there are times to seek counsel–I’m not talking about abuse here.  I’m talking about the usual “he doesn’t pick his socks up” or “he doesn’t lead us in Scripture reading” or “he doesn’t play with the kids enough” or “he doesn’t discipline the kids enough–he’s a big kid himself!”

That’s just about our husbands–we can do this about our mother-in-law, our other friend, our children.  Again, there is nothing wrong with being honest and asking for prayer!  But if around certain people you start griping more than just sharing, and come away feeling more bitter instead of better, and if they “take your side” vs. praying with you and encouraging you, even in a difficult situation, then you might evaluate how much time you spend with those kinds of people (whether in person or on a phone or e-mail).

If our friends aren’t encouraging us in our walk as Godly women, wives and mommies, then those should not be the people we spend the most time with!

Even if you have great friends, you can end up spending lots of time interacting with them, then you  might be less content to “just be with the kids at home” or your husband.   Those are just some warning flags to watch out for!   We can’t expect our children to turn their hearts toward home if ours isn’t also turned toward home!

Of course, friendships can also become a part of something else I’d like to talk about….

THE GREAT ESCAPE!!!

What do I mean?!

Escaping our mundane, routine duties.  Oh, a vacation or little break is quite nice!  But when our heart would rather do something else than train and nurture and face life head on, we might evaluate whether what we are really doing is escaping.

  

The phone (cell or otherwise!).  Facebook.  Twitter.  Blogging. Texting.  Visiting.  Play days at the park.  Homeschool get togethers.  Field trips.  Eating out.  Shopping.  Educational opportunities.

None of the above are sinful actions by any means!  Unless….we are turning to those things to fill the God-shaped vacuum inside.  Many times, especially as mamas at home, homeschooling, training children 24/7, we feel we need a break.  And again, a little break is nice.  But when we’d rather have lots of breaks and very little time at home or taking care of the task at hand….then, we must question where our hearts are.

I heard Marilyn Howshall 10 years ago talk about too much running.  When you have to leave for an activity, you obviously need to quit early enough to get around to go.  Then you go to the activity, then when you get home it’s hard to get everyone corralled again to do chores or school or work on projects (or work on character!  ;) ).   One day of that is one thing, but when every single day is spent running all the time (I’m not talking about a short season of extra craziness!), then we–and the children!–start looking forward to the interruption and only half-heartedly apply ourselves to “doing the next thing” at hand.

I have been guiiiillllttyyyyyyyyy of this one more than I care to admit!   And it starts out so innocently!  “Just checking e-mails really quickly” turns into an hour (there’s a time warp in front of the computer, I’m sure of it!!!).  Or just a quick text to someone, and they reply, and you reply and…..well, you get the idea!

Even books can be an escape!  I’m not talking torrid romance novels, either!  I remember on one Mom’s list I used to be on,  a mom sharing how we can read all these good books about being a good wife, a good mom, a good homemaker, a good homeschooler, etc…..but eventually we need to put the books aside and just go be those things!

I think the hardest “escapes” to nail down are the ones that look so “responsible”.   If you are a very servant-hearted person, you can find yourself “ministering” to a lot of people….but not so much your family.  Or you’re not home to catch the little foxes before they destroy the vines.

With the advent of all our technology, it’s easy to even get caught “ministering” too much via e-mail, texting, etc. 

The best thing to do is to set some limits, allowing of course for emergencies!  Don’t get in bondage over this!   Someone may truly need you right now and other things can be put on hold.  But that should not be the norm!  :)

Another good thing to do is to be accountable.  Either write down how much time you spend on the phone/computer/texting/etc. or maybe a friend at church can ask you from time to time how you are doing in the areas you are most tempted.  Your husband can also hold you accountable, if that works for you.

Be very careful–the enemy may know he’ll never get you to rob a bank or leave your husband, but if he can get you busy “serving” and not realizing you are actually avoiding the character issues and tasks at home–and especially if it can be cloaked under the “serving” category–then he still wins some battles in your heart and home.

This is not something you “outgrow” or overcome once for all!  I still fight it! 

And one of the biggest ways to fight it is to make sure you are keeping intimacy with the Lord–seeking His face and staying close to His heart (vs. checking off your Bible reading list and prayer list).  Truly the “things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace”–but we must be meditating on, beholding and pursuing His glory and grace for its light to loosen our hold on earthly things and praise!

If I have thousands of people extolling my virtues and how I helped them, but I lose my own children–what will it profit me?

I’m not naive enough to think my work is done!  I still have some younger children that need nurtured and guided, and to be honest, it’s somewhat harder now because of all this technology tearing us away and apart, if we let it!

My prayer is that we will all stay focused on the most important work–keeping our hearts focused on Him and our families.

 

 

 

 

I believe I have shared about this website before, but I decided to again!

 

Belinda Letchford is from Australia, and she has a wonderful website that really covers a Learning Lifestyle quite well!   I will warn you–you could spend a lot of time there!  ;)

 

I love her “motto”:

 

“Homeschool:  Live Life with Your Kids!”

 

She has a wonderful e-zine that you can get in your inbox, too.   She and I must be kindred spirits!   Like me, she believes their walk with God and character are more important than academics.   Not that academics aren’t important, but they are after the other two! 

 

Click on Lifestyle Homeschool and be prepared to be refreshed!

 

I would just go systematically through the pages you are intersted in.  She has many links on each segment, so again–plan to spend some time or keep track of where you left off!  Easy to navigate and just a wealth of good stuff there!

 

Belinda has also written a few e-books which I’ve ordered and enjoy (need to get them printed off so I can enjoy them more!)

 

Do start by reading the first homepage and then click on the links!  :)

 

Mamas, whether your children are little ones, a mixture, or mostly grown, my best advice to you would be to keep focusing on relationships.   My older daughters and I have a wonderful relationship, and I intend to keep pursuing this with my younger ones, too!  My “middle child” will be 13 in 6 weeks, and I’m so pleased that we are good friends, too!

 

Next week I want to cover something I’m sure every mama does but always wants to do better–praying for our children!

 

Have a blessed weekend and remember to thank the Lord (and all the time!) for the freedom we have in our nation to train our children for Him!

 

 

(A cellist outstanding in her “field”!  :-D )

 

 

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Fabulous Family Friday–What About Friends?

Friday, June 25th, 2010

 

 

It’s been a whirlwind week–well, a few nights ago, literally!  ;)

Susannah and Cassia were at orchestra camp this week, so Monday was taking them there, last night was the concert, and today I went to get them.

Then we practiced for the Relay for Life we’re playing for tomorrow night (and that’s after a graduation open house that is 2 hours away!).

THEN I took them to the llama farm so they could work with their llamas, since they didn’t make the two meetings this week.

Whew!

Oh, and the “literal whirlwind”?  Wednesday night Dallas and I drove home on the edge of a bad storm….well, I’ll post more about that next week!

 

 

What about friends for our children? 

 

Friends are wonderful!   And they can be terrible! 

 

I’m going to share a few nuggets of wisdom, which I’ve learned over the years and now see the fruit in my children.

 

I wish I could give credit where credit is due, but years ago I heard someone advocate being best friends within the family before having friends outside the family.

 

I took that to heart.

 

When Jessica and Leah were small, we had a neighbor girl that would come over a lot.  She was (and is!) a very nice girl, and I honestly had very little problems with her. 

 

But I made it very clear to my girls that if they did not treat each other kindly, that I was willing to send their friend back home, and I would tell her why (so she didn’t think it was something she had done!)!

 

Did I have to follow through on that threat?

 

Yes!  But not very often!

 

My girls knew I was serious when I said, “You must be best friends with each other first.  Friends come and go throughout your life, but your family is forever.”   Unless, of course, you destroy those relationships in childhood (or let them destroy them with each other). 

 

NO friend should ever be more important than a sister or brother.   My children have many good friends.   Some are real kindred spirits.  But their “bestest” friends, as we like to say, are right here at home.

 

That did not happen overnight or easily!

 

With the next two girls, there were times they had to sit next to their daddy or me during a church fellowship time after dinner instead of playing with their friends, because they had not been treating sisters kindly.  They get plenty of warning on this, but at some time, I had to make good my warnings and follow through.

 

You know what?  It is just as hard on me as it is on them!!!

 

And that is really the crux of the matter–

 

Are we willing, as mamas, to sacrifice our fellowship times to help develop this family unity? 

 

Let me tell you, it will be worth every sacrifice!

 

I quit going to a Take a Break for moms when my oldest two were younger.  It wasn’t that the church was a bad influence, or that the other children were so terrible.   No matter how Godly other people are, the fact is, we are all sinners and somehow, “familiarity breeds contempt”, or, “all our bad character will rub off more than the good if we spend too much time together”!

 

We quit taking the girls to a homeschool group’s meetings because the activities they had for the kids always centered around the gym, and my girls were put in awkward positions at times.

 

I don’t tell you this to make it seem like I was so wise and wonderful!!!  I had a hard time letting go of some of the things I had to let go of.  Remember, this was back in the dinosaur age of NO internet, NO e-mail,  NO texting, NO unlimited long distance, and we had the distinct privilege of being a GTE (now Verizon) strip right between two Sprints (now…I don’t know?  Who are they now?!), which meant–everything was long distance!!!

 

It was hard and lonely sometimes.  But of course, on this end of things, it was worth it!

 

That’s the way it is with so many things, isn’t it?  We have a hard time “sacrificing” something we think is for the greater good (and what God wants), but it’s hard.  Does it really matter?  Will it be worth it in the long run?

 

I’m here to tell you that YES!  YES IT IS!!!

 

If there is a common denominator in situations I’m aware of where the young people’s hearts are not with their family, it is they are very attached to their friends.

 

Again, friends can be good.  Proverbs 27:17 tells us, “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.”

 

Let’s be honest, though.   The best sharpening will happen through the best friends who know you the best—your family.

 

There are many ways to “run away” from the character lessons God is trying to teach us through our family.   But mark my words that if you do manage to get out of “Family Character Training 101″, you will meet “Roommate Character Training 201″ without the benefit of having passed the first course!  Meaning–it will be harder!

 

Or you  might run into “Tough Professor 301″, or “Neighbor Doesn’t Like Me 401″.   Oh, and don’t forget “Employer Is Tougher Than the Professor 501″!  God will bring those character training opportunities back to you again and again until you learn them. 

 

Only they get harder each time.

 

We have to have a long-term vision for our children. We have to be willing to sacrifice present “peace” for what is best spiritually in the long run.

 

I would encourage you to work on family relationships–even if it means you have to let some activities go.    When you’re always “going”, it’s easy to avoid the character training that “boredom” will bring out of your children.  And you!!! *eek!*

 

I have been at functions where young people are surrounded by friends, but they are texting other friends!   ???

 

I have watched siblings cut each other down in public as if it were a great pasttime (getting a bit too comfortable with doing that privately and apparently caring more that their friends see they don’t care about their siblings so they can be “cool”?)

 

Unfortunately, I’ve also seen wives cut down their husbands in public!  That is NOT a good role-model, mama!  :(

 

What consistently comes out of our mouths shows where our hearts really are.   We might think we’re really not “that way”, but what is the “aroma of the heart”?  The fragrance from our words should be the same as as our Savior’s. 

 

That is really the litmus test, isn’t it?  Would Jesus cut down His brothers and sisters?  Would He rather ditch His siblings for His friends?  (Let’s remember He spent the first 30 years of His life with His family.  He spent 3 years with His disciples!  And His siblings could have been His disciples, too, had they believed.   We know James eventually became a “servant of the Lord Jesus Christ” as did Jude. )

 

Would Jesus be texting His friends while sitting next to His family?

 

Tough questions.  What are we allowing?  Are we avoiding it because it’s just the way it is?   Or it’s too hard to change or say no?

 

It isn’t easy to say no to our children.  Oh, it’s easy when they’re going to get burned on a hot stove to say, “NO!  Don’t touch!”

 

Can we see that they are burning family relationships?  Can we see the long-term “benefit” of saying no to too much time with friends to reap lovely fruit of family relationships?

 

My children are truly each others’ best friends.  Yes, they get on each other’s nerves.  Yes, we yell at each other (well, all but Leah! ;) ) And yes, we ask each other’s forgiveness to restore that relationship.

 

I encourage you to do all you can to keep your children’s hearts, and one thing you must be prayerfully vigilant about is who are your children’s friends, and how much time they spend with them (and with the advent of our technological age, that includes “spending time” with them via texting, e-mailing, on the phone, facebooking, twittering, etc.).

 

And that includes “good friends”, too.

 

Once again, I am NOT saying “Don’t let your children have friends!”  

 

I’m just saying, “Family First”!    Psalm 68:6 says, “God setteth the solitary in families…” not “God setteth the solitary in a circle of friends”!    (And yes, that would include only children!  They still have their parents to develop relationships with first!)

 

We are called the friends of God, true, but we’re even more the family of God.

 

The picture God has of marriage and of our relationship to Him and each other is that of a family.

 

(I think I see a pattern here….. ;) )

 

Let’s start with ourselves, and do the right thing in building relationships at home.

 

For from that platform, we will be better friends to others and better witnesses of His family!

 

Oh, and by the way—-my children are my best friends, too!

 

May God give you wisdom to keep (or get back) your children’s hearts and bless you as you do whatever it takes to be best friends with each other!

 

It will be worth it ALL!

 

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Fabulous Family Friday–Praise the Lord!

Friday, June 11th, 2010

 

 

My, what a week!

 

We picked 134 pounds of strawberries on Monday, and by Wednesday evening all were either in syrup, freezer jam or frozen individually and bagged for the freezer!   

 

Many hands make light the work–indeed!

 

 

 

 

Are you training your littles to help and be a part of what you do? Or do you think, “I can do it faster myself!”?   I’ve said it before, but I will repeat–let them “help” now.  The goal is not always to get it done faster.  I know sometimes we just have to get things done, but I fear too much of the time we (yes I still fight it!) tend to focus on the task vs. the hearts of these don’t-stay-little-long blessings God has entrusted to us.

 

I doubt any of us have great memories of  our phonics workbooks.  Or math.   But we probably all have sweet memories of rolling out pies with a grandmother or maybe working in a garden with a parent.   Think of the way Jesus “discipled”–He simply took the disciples along with Him in His daily life, teaching them by example.  Not by a textbook.  After all, character cannot be learned in a textbook!

 

As you take your children along with you, you are training them to have a servant’s heart.  Especially if you show your delight in them and joy in their presence.  Like you love having them around!   Then believe me, they’ll want to stick around when they’re older!

 

 

I’ve been learning so much about prayer, and more specifically about praise– or intercessory worship as Mike Bickle and Dick Eastman call it.   I’ve been reading a “delightful” series by Dick Eastman called the “Harp and Bowl Series”.   The three books are:

 

 

 

 

 

All are available at Every Home For Christ’s Bookstore.   This is a wonderful ministry, and they will send you a free world prayer map that will cover every country in a month’s time. There is also a kids’ prayer map!  I highly recommend these books and the prayer maps!  (And if you’re requesting those, you might as well request their free book, “Look What God Is Doing!” )

Much of what I’ve been reading, from Mr. Eastman as well as a few other authors, is that praise is the missing ingredient in our prayers.  These books have revolutionized my prayer life and increased my faith greatly!  

How easy is it for us to get our focus on the “problems” or “situations” we pray for, and not our great God Who is Most High and All-Powerful!   I will share more specifically about that next week, but I thought I’d let you know about these books and resources to help you in your prayer life.

As a mama, of course we want to pray for our children as well as instill in them the habit of prayer.  It can become a difficult venture if we are not praying much.  You cannot impart something that is not a part of your own life!   You will find yourself reading these books “as a hart panting after the water brooks”–you’ll want more, MORE, MORE!!!! 

 

I also share these resources, because this week I want to share an idea with you that we have used in the past and are resurrecting to use with our younger set of children.   I heard about this idea at an ATI conference 15 or so years ago!  

Do you find yourself focusing a bit too much on the negatives–the things that you and your children need to improve?  Especially in their character?

Enter Praise Pockets!

 

 

 

Praise Pockets are very easy to make–and very hard to implement!  *smile!*

 

The idea is that you work on praising your children for their character vs. always correcting them.   I pick 1-3 qualities to work on for the week or month, and each child has one they specifically are working on.   You don’t have to do it this way!  If you want to work on one quality a week (or month!), that is fine!

 

We use the character quality list the Institute in Basic Life Principles has.   We have two resources, The Power of True Success for Families and Achieving True Success, that we use a lot (or I should say used–and will use again as we start this!)   I also have the Character Sketches books.  At one time I even made up a little “Character Ant Game” using the 49 character qualities!  (Might have to dig that back out!)

 

You start with very basic, easily available materials.

 

 

 

Colored paper, glue stick and stickers!   Oh, and some scissors and a ruler, or you can use one of those nifty scrapbooking tools that cut the edges neatly–wish they’d been available back when I first made these! 

 

I took one sheet of the paper, and folded it not quite in half.  The goal is to leave a little bit at the top of your pocket:

 

 

 

 

Now you take your glue stick and glue the sides down.

 

 

 

Next you will write the child’s name–or let them do it!   If your children are older, of course they can do this with you.   Younger ones may be able to do some steps–the more they’re involved, the more they’ll love it!

 

 

 

 

This is the FUN part!

 

Picking out stickers!!!!

 

 

I will warn you that most kids will want a gazillion stickers on their pockets!   Give them some leeway, but don’t let them cover the pockets in stickers!  :)  

 

 

 

 

Finshed Pocket!

 

 

Now it’s time to make the “Praise Markers”!

 

 

Basically, they are about 1 1/2 inch by 6 inch strips of paper, various colors, on which you write the character qualities.  I made many per quality–the “big” ones like Obedience have way more markers than, say, Alertness.   How many you make will also depend on how many children are “playing”. 

 

After getting all the markers made, you may want to use a small basket or make a nice “holder” for them all.  One of my daughters made a nice holder to tack up to the bulletin board.  This doesn’t hold ALL the character quality Praise Markers–just several of them we are working on for now.

 

 

 

We tacked the younger children’s up to a bulletin board under the main holder.   (See earlier picture above.)

 

The idea is that as you notice your child showing the particular quality(ies) that you are working on, you put a marker in their pocket.

 

 

I assigned a point system to the markers.  Some are worth 5 points, some 2 and some 1 (after the Parable of the Talents). 

 

You NEVER take markers out.  Even if they are good one day and horrible the next 6, you never take them out.   I had one particular daughter that probably would have been in the negative more than once had I taken any out!!!  *yikes!*

 

When the older girls were younger and doing this, I made up “coupons”.     They could add up their marker points as well as other points for practicing their instruments and doing chores and school,  and the total amount decided which bag of coupons they could draw from.   On the lower end were things like, “Sleep downstairs” or “Pick dessert”.   You know what your kids would like! ;)

 

The next level might have “Mommy will do dishes for you–Advanced Notice Required”.  That way they didn’t spring it on me at an inopportune time!  

 

Another level up would have things like “You don’t have to do school today” or “Mommy will do a craft with you”.

 

Higher levels had even neater things like getting to go out to dessert with Daddy or Mommy, and the top prize was to go out to eat with one of them (fast food restaurants!).

 

I sometimes had a little trinket, but I wanted to emphasize time with us versus “stuff” (and we know that that kind of “stuff” usually ends up on the floor in their rooms for you to step on!).

 

We had a lot of fun with it, and no one was competing with anyone.  It was all about striving for your own personal best.

 

And it helped me, as the mama, to focus on the good things that were happening vs. all that I had to work on!

 

Whether you choose to make Praise Pockets or come up with your own idea, I encourage you to make praise more and more a part of your life!   Believe me, your children will catch it from you and you all might find you have joy-filled hearts that are also full of song!

 

If you want to see how that works…..smile…..head over to the girls’ blog today and see a video of us singing a crazy song called “Fugue for Fast Food”! 

 

Have a blessed weekend–and don’t forget to praise!   (Don’t forget to praise your husband as well! ;) )

 

 

 

 

 

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