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What Happened to Friday?!

February 28th, 2011

Sometimes things fall through the cracks when you delegate.

I had asked some certain daughters to post that I was gone Friday and not able to get a post together before I left last Wednesday.

And they forgot.

Of course, it might have had something to do with being busy running the house and taking care of the little guys and Daddy…..and posting funny pictures!!!! ;) Like this one…..and then this one…..and we can’t forget about these….and it gets even better here–or is that worse?!

Very creative! :D

I will be posting about where I was tomorrow. Yes, it has to do with T-Tapp!

Blessings, dear friends!

Posted in Life Happens! | 1 Comment »

T-Tapp Tuesday–The Third Key to the Proven Formula for Success

February 22nd, 2011

First an apology–I had intended to post about Math on the Level again yesterday, but…well…life happened!  ;)

I will try to get that in with this Friday’s post.   Sorry if you were waiting with baited breath!    Also, for some reason, their website is still on the blink.  I may take some pics of my books so you can at least see what it looks like!

Here is Cathy Duffy’s review of MOTL.  I’m not sure I’d use the word “demanding” as she did (she stated that it is a “demanding program for parents to use”).  I mean, yes, it takes some time, but quite frankly, even the “easiest” of math programs I’ve used took some time!

Okay, onto the third key to the proven success formula for T-Tapp!

Form can sometimes be tough to focus on.  You might think you’re doing pretty good, and then you decide to become a T-Tapp trainer and need to video yourself teaching a class.  When you watch the video, you wonder why on earth you ever thought you could be a trainer!!!  :o

Seriously, we all can improve on form.  And even though we know what to do as “veteran” tappers, we can “lose the core” if we’re not keeping an eye on it (whether in a mirror or on a video!).

Isometric contractions can be equally elusive sometimes.  We try to make sure we’re pushing through mud, no wimpy noodle arms, no wasted movements.   But there are just times we can’t seem to keep it all activated!

But in all honesty, this last key is probably the easiest and yet hardest to implement—

C-O-N-S-I-S-T-E-N-C-Y!!!

 

It is so easy to let “life” come in and the tyrrany of the urgent to take over.   It happens to all of us, but the hard part is to carve that time back out once the crisis is over.

And yet, this is the key that will yield results.  Because if your form as top notch and you are activated to the max, but you only do that sporadically, it won’t really do you much good.

We all know the story of the turtle and the hare.  Nowhere is this more evident than in T-Tapp!  Many women, wanting to get the most out of it they can, start out of the chute all gung-ho!  They do a 14 day Total Workout Bootcamp, and then launch into their routine.   Maybe at first they get some encouraging results.  But then, maybe a month or two into it, some places seem to stall or maybe they seem to notice their belly/thighs/buns/(fill in the blank) are not moving as fast as they’d like.  So they look into another workout or “targeting” an area with a move like Diva Derriere or Awesome Legs.   Then maybe add a little of this or a little of that.  Before you know it, they are doing 30 minutes or more every day and then wonder why inch loss stalls!

I’ll be posting about the dreaded plateau next week, but for now, let me encourage you to start off slowly and surely.   Many people skimp on the Instructionals because they want to get to the workout!  I mean, who wants to stand there and “hold position” while Teresa talks and talks and talks?!

But what we don’t realize is that “holding position” while Teresa teaches us a lot about form helps to establish neurokinetic connections and that will help with future inch loss–no kidding!

The Instructionals are not just about learning the moves.  They help train your muscles to hold the isometric contractions that are so key to T-Tapp. 

So what should a newbie (or returning T-Tapper or one who maybe..ahem…was a little too gung-ho to start) do?

Go back to the Instructionals!

I honestly think the MORE Instructional is just top notch! The slower pace really helps you get form.  But Instructional 1 and 2 from BWO+ and TWO are both good, too.   If you’re currently a T-Tapper and it’s been at least 4 weeks since you’ve done a bootcamp, why not pop the Instructionals in for 4 days?  Take 2 days off, and then figure out a routine you can stick with consistently.

If you’re brand spanking new to T-Tapp, stick with Instructional 1 for at least a week if not two (you can take 1 day off per week if you like).  You want to get to the point you know exactly what Teresa is going to say next!  :)

So what is a “doable” workout routine?

There’s a whole post on the forums about full vs. short workouts.  A basic rule of thumb is anything over 30 minutes is a full workout.  There are exceptions both ways!  For example, many of the Tempos are 30 minutes or just under (Tempo Arms, Tempo Lower Body standing or floor, Tempo Torso) as well as LadyBug standing or floor.  BUT, those are all advanced level workouts either due to greater muscle activation or the tempo (or both!), so they are considered a full workout and should not be done daily.  Hit the Floor Softer (HTFS), although 40 minutes, is still considered a short workout.

Another trap we often fall into (I say “we” because I did just this!) is to add “just a few moves” to your daily workout.  For example, a year and a half ago I was doing LadyBug Standing workout every other day (EOD).  I decided to do “a few moves” on my “off days”.  Donna on the 6 Weeks to a New You Thread pointed out that I had 6 “extra moves” and BWO+ was only 8!  I was, in effect, doing a full workouts EOD and then a “short” workout on my “off days”.  Now, there are some that do this for a challenge or short period of time, but added to that I was trying a new eating program that was cutting out my snacks…and I crashed!  I wasn’t eating enough protein throughout the day, especially for this strenuous of a schedule, so my adrenals said, “Enough!”

It’s always fine to do Primary Back Stretch on off days as well as Organs in Place.  But beyond that, really evaluate how much “extra” you are doing.  Many of us like to do Hoedowns after meals to help with blood sugar or just burn glucose.   But even then we can be overdoing it if we add 3 Hoedowns plus a workout plus two or three “extra” moves….you get the idea!

Keeping this in mind, your routine needs to be something you can realistically sustain considering your time constraints and your stamina/health. 

Here are examples of workout routines I have been able to sustain with my busy life as a homeschooling mama of many:

MORE 4-6 days per week

 

BWO+ alternated with SATI 4-6 days per week

 

Variations of BWO+ (the BWO+ portion of LadyBug, Tempos as well as Basic Tempo),  4-6 days per week

 

Total Workout, broken up over 2-3 days, with maybe SATI or HTF thrown in once (not on the same days as TWO portions!)

 

When I say 4-6 times weekly, that means some weeks it’s 4 days, some 5, and some 6.   I had seasons where I could do 6 workouts a week, but they usually didn’t last long.   Five workouts a week is a reasonable goal.  You can either take weekends completely off or take Sundays off and a day in the middle of the week (maybe Wednesday) where you only do the Terrific Three:  PBS, T-Tapp Twist (or at least the stretch and pulses) and a Hoedown.

My ultimate goal is to do 1 full workout, 1 stepping workout, 1 floor workout and 1-2 short workouts a week.  Here is an sample, with choices in the parentheses:

M-TWO (Tempos, LadyBug)

T- SATI (SITTM–over 2 days, Broom–just 1 Broom workout after the Warm-Up)

W-PBS, TTT, HD

Th-HTF (HTFS, Critter Crunch Floor, Critter Crunch 2, Tempo Lower Body Floor, LadyBug Floor)

F-BWO+ (variations from LadyBug or Tempos, Basic Tempo, MORE)

S-PBS, TTT, HD (or another short workout)

S-Off

Variations using just the MORE workout would be:

M-MORE (the workout)

T-PBS then MORE Chair

W-MORE

Th-PBS then MORE Broom

F-MORE

S-PBS then MORE Step Away

S-Off

 

If you’re pretty fit and no real health problems (including no adrenal issues), you may want to do full workouts EOD.  If you choose to do that, do not, I repeat:  do not start adding in workouts on off days all the time or lots of extra moves.  On a full workout day, the only extra moves you should add in are Organs in Place and maybe a Hoedown or two.   If you decide to do a challenge adding in a few moves (such as the Torso Trimmer) do it for only ten days and don’t do other “extra moves”.    It is better to apply your max to form and isometric contractions than to keep adding in more moves to hopefully target an area!

Remember, too, that a “full workout” can be a combination of shorter workouts, such as:

BWO+ and HTF

BWO+ and SATI

MORE plus the three short workouts Chair, Broom and Step Away

Always, always take at least one day off, unless you’re in a longer bootcamp.  That will also be a future post–short vs. long bootcamps!

The bottom line in consistency is finding what works for you.  I love to come up with workout routines, and sometimes they work out, sometimes they don’t.  It helps during those times to have a “default plan” to fall back on.  This is also what I do when I stand before the video cabinet and think, “So many workouts–I don’t know which to do!”  :D

My default workout is MORE.  I can talk myself into MORE pretty easily, so that’s it for me.  For someone else it may be BWO+ or SATI.  Or just the Terrific Three (PBS, TTT and HD).  Some days I tell myself “you only have to do PBS”!  But often I find myself doing all of BWO+!  ;)   If you’re having a day when plies just tire you out thinking about them, lace up your shoes and do BWO+ without them.  Yes, you can skip moves!  Just always do them in order–don’t do Oil Wells and then come back and do Jazz Twist.   The sequence is important!   I often will cut reps on some moves that seem to be a monster looming at me–that way I slay the monster but don’t wear myself out on a less-than-optimal day! 

So remember, there are three keys to the proven formula for success in T-Tapp:

1. Proper Form (to your best ability at this time)

2. Isometric Conraction (your max)

3. Consistency

All three are important legs of the program.  But taking away that third one leaves the other two utterly worthless if your quest is to lose inches and gain health.

Here’s to more consistency!

Happy Tappin’!

If you don’t know all the T-Tapp acronyms, here is a thread listing them all.

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Fabulous Family Friday–The Third R of Relationships

February 18th, 2011

Well, we finally come to the third R of Relationships! 

You’ve figured this out by now, right?!  

It is your relationship to your children. 

Let me repeat–your first two relationships must be in order for the third one to be as well.  You certainly can’t be mad at God or your husband and expect your relationship to your children to be just fine! 

I’m not talking about the occasional frustration but the ongoing tone of your other relationships. 

Now, what about those lovely gifts God has entrusted to you? 

There are days they want to make you pull your hair out, right?! ;) 

Having the right perspective makes things fall into place much better AND helps you keep your eyes on the long term goal vs. the current “tyrrany of the urgent”! 

It’s so easy as a young mama (and even us not-as-young mamas!) to get so focused on the here and now–the diapers, dishes, messes, homeschooling, laundry, or if you’ve got older children helping, then you have the oversight of the littles’ training (so they don’t just ride on the coattails of the older ones!), homeschooling three to four levels, (overseeing some, involved in others), making sure the jobs you delegated got done, making sure children make it to lessons, ministry opportunities, coordinating all that and still finding time to practice music as a family (in our case, anyway)!  Whew!  

From time to time it is important to stop, look up, take a deep breath, and keep your eyes fixed on the horizon of your long-term goals, so they don’t get swallowed up in the dailyness of life.  

“Getting things done” is probably a mama’s worst enemy to relationships.  Whether the “things” are chores, school, outings, ministry, meals……if we’re not careful we can go days without really tying the heartstrings in our relationship to our children.   Guilty here! :( 

I remember something I read by Michael Pearl…wish I could find it to quote it verbatim, but in essence he was saying that your daily duties are opportunities to train your children and tie heartstrings.    It was a fun issue with stories by other moms–I remember one enterprising mom had her children drawing or doing their math facts on the tile floor–maybe in washable marker?–then they had the “fun” of wiping it off.  Or maybe she wrote the facts down and as they answered them they wiped it off.  Math and clean floor in one lesson!   Now that’s my kind of school! :D 

Ah!  I found it! 

Here is the letter from the mom and Michael’s comment, both very good: 

The tiles of homeschooling 

“My four and six-year-old love to help me clean our kitchen floors. Although this
game works as well on linoleum, our kitchen floor is made of large ceramic tiles. I
divide the kitchen floor into two sections. With a dry erase pen on the four year
old’s section I draw numbers and letters in random order on the tiles. He has to clean each large square perfectly, thus erasing the letter or number on his square–but he has to do it in chronological order. His older sister has various words to read as she cleans each square, thus decoding a secret message (often a mini love letter) I have written to her. Sometimes we even make it a race. It’s lots of fun and sure beats nagging the kids! 

Valeri Marsh 

Payson, AZ” 

“The previous letter is the way life should be lived. She said, “it sure beats nagging.” Nagging is always counterproductive. It eats away at the soul of the family like moist rot. 

“Can you see that this mother is enjoying her children? It would no doubt be easier for her to clean the floor herself. Imagine mother crawling around on the floor, writing on every tile, leaving coded messages. This is a woman that needs to have fifteen kids. 

“Consider what must be the world-view of this mother. What is the most important thing to her in the course of a day? Keeping her house clean? Absolutely not. She lives for her children. She is a builder of souls. She has a full time job, and she is determined to succeed above all else. She is a mother. That is the attitude you must have to train up your children in the way they should go.” 

~Taken from Working Character in Children, part 2 

The following was also taken from this article.  I’m quoting this at length because it really captures the heart of why we do what we do–it’s not just to have something to eat, a clean home and clothing.  It’s about training character while tying heartstrings: 

“You have been thinking in terms of what you can get done most efficiently in the shortest amount of time. You are motivated moment by moment to follow the path of least resistance. You must change mantles. You can no longer be a one-person dynamo of efficiency. Resign from all of life’s callings. You are now a father or mother whose sole purpose in life is to produce beautiful sons and daughters of God. 

“There must be two changes; the first one is absolutely critical. Change your perspective and then you can change your lifestyle. With a new attitude toward the children and toward what must be accomplished in a given period of time. Arrange your lifestyle so the children are needed and are effectively engaged in responsible work.” 

(my emphases) 

Another mom I read about (different source) talked of giving the kids dishtowels that they could scoot around the floor on while they “mopped”.   Yeah, they made a mess and needed to change clothes when done–but what a memory!  And what a mom! 

This is where we must–must change our views.  It is tough when they’re younger, but probably the first thing you need to do is die to your pride.  Your idea of what a day should look like.  What if you end up throwing all the cushions on the floor or pillows and just read half the day away?  Was that a loss? 

Or what if you ditch your well-planned day and take a sheet and have an indoor picnic on a rainy day? 

I have done both of those, but way too few times.  Unfortunately I can probably count on one hand how many indoor picnics we did.  :(  And now, that I’m an older mama, I wonder….what was so pressing that I “just didn’t have time”? 

I no longer remember what the “tyrrany of the urgent” was during those younger years.  But I remember those fun oases when I let go of my agenda and let God direct! 

Of course I’m not advocating throwing your schedule out  24/7/365!  I think, however, that most of us in this “Daytimer” generation have a harder time letting go than being too loose! 

There are going to be days, especially when your children are all little, that you may need to take more time than you’d like to discipline and/or train them.  But you are laying a foundation, and you can gloss over the “little foxes that spoil the vines” and “get more done” now…..but you will reap a harvest and not get as much done later.  Nor will you have cheerful help later. Nor will you have the joy. 

Marilyn Howshall (who wrote Wisdom’s Way of Learning) often wrote:  

Character training adds time to every duty and every duty must stop for character training. 

We don’t like that, do we?  We want it to get fixed fast so we can get back to what’s “important”.  Whatever that is. 

Here’s another quote from the introduction to Elisabeth Elliot’s classic book, Keep a Quiet Heart:

“I think I find most help in trying to look on all the interruptions and hindrances

to work that one has planned out for oneself as discipline, trials sent by God to

help one against getting selfish over one’s work. Then one can feel that perhaps

one’s true work–one’s work for God–consists in doing some trifling haphazard

thing that has been thrown into one’s day. It is not a waste of time, as one is

tempted to think, it is the most important part of the work of the day–the part

one can best offer to God. After such a hindrance, do not rush after the

planned work; trust  that time to finish it will be given sometime, and

keep a quiet heart about it.“

~Annie Keary, 1825-1879

I fear that we are rushing after the planned work, not trusting and certainly not keeping a quiet heart about it all! 

I had that quote written out and posted at different places in the home for awhile.  At the kitchen sink for a long time, then a mirror, then in my Bible.   I needed the reminder, because when I first read those words I was recovering from my 7th miscarriage and my children were 8, 6, 3 and almost 2.  

I am admonishing you younger mamas especially, please take the time!  Take the time to write down each day the silly, funny, seemingly mundane things you did today.  Right now you may think, “Who will care about that?”  Believe me–in 10 years it will be a riot to read what you ate for lunch that day, or  “Oh, remember? That’s the day we decided to just do a nature walk and had a picnic down the lane!” or when your barely walking toddler pulled your petticoat off the playpen where it was drying and got inside of it and then couldn’t walk! She was so distressed and you were laughing so hard you could barely help her out of it!  (Yes, that happened with my oldest and I did write that one down! ;) ) 

Take time to make a chore fun.  Oh, you can’t do it every day with every chore, but what about 1 chore?  What about making Fridays “Family Fun Friday” where “regular school” is cancelled?  And it’s spelling games or math bees or wash the tile floor with secret messages  ;) ?  My goal is to have Fridays free–no matter how the rest of the week went!  That means if you “lost” 2 days’ worth of work, you do not use Friday to make it up!  That will speak volumes to your children!  Of course there may be the occasional (very rare) exception, but even taking the afternoon off to do some fun projects will be something they can look forward to! 

And please don’t make it a discipline issue–no “If you don’t straighten up you will do your work while we all have fun”–this is about grace.  There are plenty of other times to tie consequences to actions, but let there be one time, one fun time each week where it’s all grace.  Remember what grace you have been shown, Mama! 

You could even use that time to make something to bless others–make cards, no sew fleece blankets (we have a children’s hospital in our state’s capital that posts sizes needed and how to do them–cutting a small 1/4 inch slit at the base of each fringe piece to pull each fringe piece through vs. tying, works for single layer fleece), or perhaps make some simple gifts to have on hand for baby showers, birthdays, etc.  Here is a GREAT blog, Skip to My Lou,  and her Made By You Mondays have a TON of links to other people’s projects they share!  

Another good resource is Teaching Good Things, and she has many freebie ideas on her blog/website!  You will need to scroll down a bit on the right side to search, and there is a category selection that will keep you busy for awhile! ;) 

I personally believe whatever a child’s “bent” may be, he or she will benefit with learning to work with their hands.  You don’t have to be proficient yourself–just learn along with them!  (Just like homeschooling! ;) ) 

When I was first married I didn’t know how to sew much, knit, decorate cakes, toll paint or a host of other things I’ve learned over the years.  I sometimes have felt like King David–I have amassed the materials (well, definitely THE material!  LOL!  I think I have my own fabric store!) and my children are King Solomon, building the temple.   My girls can do all the things I learned over the years much better than me.  But that’s okay!  I do not have to be top dog! 

Working with your hands builds character, but it also calms and soothes.  There is a boys’ home in Idaho that teaches the boys to crochet.  It is amazing how these troubled boys calm down!  They make blankets  to bless others with and accept yarn donations.  I often said that “technology” and “progress” have taken the part of woman’s work that stayed done and left us with the part that needs redone–sometimes several times a day! 

“Needlework is strong medicine for anyone, but for these young men it helps rebuild their very core. ” 

~p. 22  MaryJane’s Stitchery Room, by MaryJane Butters 

Patsy, a teacher assistant at this home who was  interviewed in MaryJane’s book, said it helps the boys with their anger and their addictions as well as building their self-worth. 

I wonder how many troubled women and children could get off drugs or therapy simply by keeping their hands busy?   Knitting, crocheting, sewing, embroidery, quilting, even spinning (it’s been a long time since I used my spinning wheel, but I still remember how utterly soothing it was!).   

Please don’t overlook the importance of this–“craft time” should not just be a nice extra that gets bumped off when you are “behind” in math! 

I have more I want to post about this “R” of relationships, mainly about older children, so I will save that for next week (don’t want anyone groaning at the length of my posts—conciseness is not one of my strong points!). 

I also wanted to share about Math on the Level today, too, but since this is long enough, I will share that on “Math Monday”!  ;) 

If you would like to donate yarn to the boys’ home, here is the address: 

Northwest Children’s Home 

P.O. Box 1288 

Lewiston, Idaho  83501 

For more information about crocheting as a tool for healing, or to support this important program, contact Patsy Gottschalk, 208-746-1601 ext. 270 

(This information was current as of the 2007 publication of MaryJane’s Stitching Room)

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T-Tapp Tuesday–Second Key for the Proven Formula for Success

February 15th, 2011

Isometric contraction.  Going to your max.

You hear that a lot in T-Tapp, but what does it mean? 

Well, at the risk of plagiarizing ;) I’m going to quote extensively from a post by Dan Wiley or “Dantheman” as he is known on the forums:

“Isometric Contractions: Really, what does that mean? How do you implement an Isometric Contraction? I believe this is the most misunderstood and under utilized aspect of the formula. Lets use the a real life experience that we all have encounter. You have a new jar of pickles and you want to open the lid. If you are right handed, you pick-up the jar with your left hand, right hand covers the lid and you begin to twist the lid to open. But it does not move. So, you try again but this time you are determined to get that lid off. Your left hand tightens around the base of the jar with fingers securely holding the jar in a stationary position. The right hand covers the lid with your finger grasping the edge of the lid, both left and right wrist are locked in a straight alignment with forearm and hand (isn’t that Interesting) and you begin to apply pressure in opposing directions with the left and right hand. The lid is still not moving so you apply even more strength (the fingers, wrist and forearm muscles are fully activated at this point). The Lid is still not releasing. So again, you setup and being applying pressure and maybe you lock your arms into position and engage the shoulders, lats and core muscles and the Lid finally releases. All that for a pickle!

“But the learning here is not now bad you wanted a pickle, it’s what is and how to apply Isometric Contractions. In this case the Isometric Contract is the activation of the muscles and pressure applied up to the point that that the lid released with the opposition of the twisting motion of the left and right hands.

“So how do you apply Isometric Contractions in you T-Tapp Workouts? You build pressure or muscle tension to resist the workout move in the opposing direction. Again by example: In PBS arms; the movement of the arms should be not just to pump them backwards and let them come freely back to the body. It should be that you are applying pressure in the opposing direction.”

Isometric contraction is what I would call a “controlled movement”–in T-Tapp you never, and I mean never let momentum carry a move!   It’s easy to do, especially if you’re focused on one aspect of form, but there are no resting or easy moves except the water breaks!  LOL!

A good visual is a video I did of what I called “Donna Arms“.  At the 2009 Safety Harbor Retreat, trainer Donna Wilson (who has beautiful arms!) showed me some moves.  Although they are not “T-Tapp moves”, they are T-Tapp related due to the muscle activation.  Then our man Dan took it up a notch, so I did a short video of his tips, too–although he later told me that the arm swings actually could be a bit looser in this instance!  :)  (Click here for that video.)

You can see in the videos how I am creating resistance with my own muscles.  I’m not just pumping my arms through the air, I am pretending like I am moving through thick, wet mud.  Or in the Dantheman version, I am pushing back just as if the wall were still there.

In Primary Back Stretch, when you go over into a flat back, you’re there with your thumbs in your “thumb holders” (just above the hip bones in the back part of the buns), elbows up to activate the lats and arms.  Now, before you try to straighten your right leg, for instance, you will push down with your right thumb, as if that arm and thumb are trying to keep your buns and leg from moving!  Then you gradually push that leg back–it may not even get anywhere near straight (mine rarely do), and your abs are pushing your buns against that thumb as if trying to push up.   You are applying pressure as if the muscles are fighting each other–or, as our friend Dan would say–opposing each other.

In Teresa’s words, you are “using your body as the machine–to create its own weight resistance wth muscle movement.”

Here is a quote from Fit and Fabulous in Fifteen Minutes:

“Most traditional exercises are isotonic, meaning they work only part of the muscle instead of the full length of the muscle.  To see what I mean, stop reading for a second and do a traditional biceps curl.  As you tighten your muscles when you curl up and again when you uncurl, you feel it in the middle of the biceps, right?  That’s an example of an  isotonic exercise.  Adding hand weights to a biceps curl is what enables muscle fibers to shorten and thicken, which is what creates the traditional bulging biceps.

 

“Now do a T-Tapp biceps curl.  Place your fist on your shoulder and bring you elbow up to shoulder level, making sure the elbow is behind the ear.  Keep pushing your elbow back to be in alignment with your shoulder.  Now tighten as you curl and uncurl, but don’t drop the elbow. In addition to the biceps, can you feel the triceps, underneath?  Can you also feel the deltoid muscles (or delts, shoulder muscles) , as well as the latissimus dorsi (lats, the lateral muscles of the back) and the trapezius (traps, or back muscles)?  That’s the T-Tapp difference!  You’re working five to seven muscles, full fiber, from the shoulder to the elbow, instead of one muscle just from the elbow to the belly of the muscle.  And that’s why in addition to building long, lean, scultped, muscles, you never have to do more than eight repetitions of any T-Tapp exercise to get results.”

 

~Teresa Tapp, Fit and Fabulous in Fifteen Minutes, pp. 18-19

Chest press is another good example of isometric contraction.  If you go to the link above for Fit and Fabulous at Amazon, there is a video clip below we on the forums call “Amazon Arms”.  :)   In that video she demonstrates the chest press.  By keeping elbows up to shoulder level and pressing in as if you were pushing through thick mud, both on the ins and the outs, you create muscle resistance.  Or isometric contractions.

That is why T-Tapp is mindful movement.  And why there is no music!  You really need to have your mind engaged in this workout to make sure you are doing your best at keeping muscles activated!

Going to your max is just that–your max.   Too many people think they need to go as fast and as far as Teresa (whom we lovingly call Mrs. Gumby!).    If you have to sacrifice form to execute a move, you need to not go down/over/back as far and just push to your max ability.  You also want to push to challenge yourself but not to hurt yourself!   It’s easy to think you need to give it a one-two umph push on a move, and then you forgot to keep elbow(s) up and hurt your back…I’ve had two friends do just that!

As you progress on your T-Tapp journey, your muscles will get stronger and so will your resistance!  That’s why you never need more than 8 reps with T-Tapp to get results or maintain! 

Your max in flexibility and muscle activation might not be much at the beginning, but trust me, if you practice the third key to success, consistency, you will improve at both flexibility and activation.   I know, because I’ve experienced it first hand!

The goal isn’t to mimic Teresa in flexibility and how far she can reach, go down, go back, etc., but to mimic good form to your best ability, and if you can’t go as far, apply as much muscle activation that you can at this point in time!

  

So remember–

Key #1:  Proper form as best you are able at this point

Key #2: Muscle activation (isometric contraction) to your best ability–to your personal max right now.  And realize it will change and progress! 

Until next week, Happy Tappin’!  ;)

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Fabulous Family Friday–‘Rithmetic

February 11th, 2011

 

 

I have a confession to make.

Math is the “bug-a-boo” at our house!  :o 

Whenever “life happened”, guess what was first to be dropped?!

Guess who has gone through about 8 math programs over the course of her 19 years of homeschooling?!

If you guessed “math” to the first question and “ME” for the second, you are right!

I thought for sure it was more like TEN math programs, but here’s the line-up:

Bob Jones Math (kindergarten)

A Beka Math (first grade–didn’t even finish unit one!!!  I am NOT an A Beka Mom!)

Saxon Math for 2nd grade (we did get half-way through that one…)

Back to Bob Jones Math for 3rd grade (I think we actually finished that one…)

Miquon Math (that was fun!)

Math-U-See–loved it!   For awhile, anyway…

Developmental Math–the older girls appreciated this one more.   The smaller booklets to work through weren’t so intimidating!  However, it does get pricey.

Mastering Mathematics–one I looked at when I first started and wish I had just went with it–I probably wouldn’t have changed so much!  We have been doing this for several years now and have overall really liked it.

But now….. ;)

I have found what I believe is THE math program, especially for more relaxed “math-as-real-life” moms!

Introducing……Math on the Level!

Let me say right up front–this is not a “take it out of the box and hand it to your child” type of program.  And it seems pricey until you realize– it is a one time purchase!  That’s right, NO workbooks, NO consumables!

I am just learning this myself, but so far, I am really impressed and decided to keep it after my 60-day trial period was up.  That’s right, you get SIXTY days to try it out, not just 30!  When I was reading testimonies like “You couldn’t pay me to give it back!” and “I teach all three of my children in half an hour”, I was ready to try it!

I actually had Susannah look it over at first and explain a lot to me as I was in the middle of another project I needed to give much of my brain power to!  She is going to help me by teaching math, so I felt she should feel comfortable with it.  She really likes it!  And as I am spending more time with the materials, I do, too!

The overview is very readable and understandable.  Carlita Boyles is a homeschool mom and developer of Math on the Level.  Here’s what the Introduction says about the development of MOTL:

“The Math on the Level teaching approach was developed over many years as Carlita taught her own children at home.  At first, she started out each year trying to use a textbook for homeschool math instruction, but each time she became frustrated with the textbook, put it aside, and used her own ideas to successfully teach her children.  After a few years, she gave up on textbooks altogether and developed what would ultimately become the Math on th Level teaching approach, teaching children at their own level of maturation, focusing on practical family life activities, and reviewing topics on a daily 5-A-Day paper.

“In early 2006, Carlita was approached by several homeschooling moms who asked her to write a math curriculum so they could use her teaching approach.  After prayerful consideration, John and Carlita decided to take on the challenge.  This project grew into an extended effort in which both worked together, blending their backgrounds in education and engineering to produce Math on the Level.”

I really love this approach!  It actually validates the “real life learning” math we’ve been doing, and gives me a way to “document it”, without making my children copy and copy and copy a bunch of problems.

I’ll give you a quick overview of what’s ahead, and then, because I am still in the “learning stages” myself, I plan to share some each Friday about how it is working for us!

Okay, first off, you have a concept chart where you can go through and see where your child needs to start.   And it starts in the very beginning…things like “Beginning Counting” and “One-to-One Correspondence”.

Let’s say you get close to where your child is, but aren’t exactly sure if they really know one-digit multiplication or not.  You would then create a 5-a-Day review paper (she has LOTS of ideas so you don’t always have to use your brain to come up with some!) that would include that concept.  If your child breezed through it, then you would mark it as learned.  If not, you would mark that as a concept to teach.

(I was going to link to a page I thought that showed this concept chart, but alas, MOTL is not coming up for some reason!)

What are 5-A-Day review papers?  That is where your children will review concepts they already know.  Although there are only 5 problems (at all levels!), those 5 problems could end up covering 19 concepts!

For example, let’s say one review problem is:

Is is < , =  or > ?  Fill in the blank.

1.802 ÷ 0.53   _____   7 1/4 – 3 3/4

You are covering math symbols, dividing decimals, subtracting mixed numbers (like denominators), but since one answer is in decimal form and the other in fractions, the child will need to convert the fraction to a decimal and compare the decimals. 

Isn’t that great?!  And the best part is, as I said, she has pages of problems you can draw from!  Yeah!

There is the overview book (in a binder), which really explains things pretty well.  I would say if you have either 2-3 hours to just sit down with it all, or have half an hour or so a day for a week, you would get this and be able to go with it.  Actually less–I spent maybe an hour, read most of the overview book and have enough of a grasp to get started!

The binder with the overview also has record keeping forms, and once you decide to keep MOTL and register with them, you will get a download link to where you could even keep their records on the computer! 

I bought the complete set, so I also have 6 spiral bound books:

 ~Operations (+ – ×  ÷ )

~Fractions

~Money and Decimals

~Geometry & Measurements

~Math Resources (Charts, Graphs & Set Theory, Word Problems, Math Dictionary, How to Memorize, Memorizing Math Facts)

~Math Adventures (Cooking, Using Money, Travel Time, Games, Math Vocabulary, Unit Studies)

Each of these books are color coded in the Concept chart, which is really nice! 

My goal this next week is to get fine-tuned where my younger set are in this book.   Of course Noah and Isaiah are very beginners, so they will be easy! ;)  

This program is billed as Pre-K to Pre-Algebra, and that is really about all we need.  Yes, I know you are supposed to do higher math.  Did you know I got the Algebra II award in high school 32 years ago, and it hasn’t made me a better person, wife, mother, or Christian?!

I’m not knocking higher math, I just think it’s interesting that now everybody needs it.   I have one daughter that wanted to do Geometry, so I bought her Patty Paper Geometry.  Yes, it’s an introductory program.  But it is all she needs at this point. 

I have another daughter that was overwhelmed with math.  So for “higher math” she is doing a consumer math (remember that? Do they even do that in public schools anymore?!).

Math in Everyday Life

Teacher’s Edition  (pretty much just has answers)

I will say that this text has a bit of an overkill on some of the forms, so I do not make my daughter do it 12 times or whatever they have her doing!

I also have her do only 1 internet activity–there is more to life than working on math all day! ;)

If my daughters were to need higher math (meaning algebra, geometry, etc.) I would probably invest in Teaching Textbooks.   They have math at all levels down to 3rd grade.  If you want something they can pretty much do on their own (with the computer) then this is the program for you.  Personally, I would prefer the Math on the Level approach for younger years, even into “middle school”, with consumer math for high school, Teaching Textbooks for algebra, et al.

One other possibility for “consumer math” that another daughter did, was Dave Ramsey’s Foundations for Personal Finance  .  The HomeSchool Buyer’s Co-op did have this as a special recently–I’m not sure if it’s still on or not.  That’s how I got it–my daughter loved the dvd presentations!

I hope this gives you a glimpse of some good resources, and please stay tuned–I promise, whatever else I write about on Fridays, I will give you updates on how Math on the Level is going!  :D

(And hopefully they’ll back online SOON!)

Have a blessed weekend!

My girls have a few new items on their Etsy shop, if you want to check them out, PLUS a Valentine’s Day coupon!  Click here!

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P.S. Quote on Importance of Details (in T-Tapp)

February 9th, 2011

Doing my “assignment” of reading all the posts by Teresa on the forums (yeah, that will take a little while! LOL!), I came across this gem–and it sums up why what all I said yesterday about setting up the T-Tapp stance is important!

“T-Tapp is a progressive journey for the body. Always go to your own personal best and your body will respond.  Skipping or not working details in sequence alter your body’s ability to achieve optimal results.”                                                 

 

~Teresa Tapp

 

Nowhere is that more important than the T-Tapp stance!  So take the time to set it up right, and take breaks to make sure you’re keeping it right!

Happy Tappin’!

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T-Tapp Tuesday–First Key to the Proven Formula for Success

February 8th, 2011

Remember the three keys to the Proven Formula for Success in T-Tapp?  

1. Proper Form  

2. Isometric Contraction  

3. Consistency  

We’re going to look at #1 today.  

Now let me say right away–form is progressive! There really is no such thing as perfect form (well, maybe for Teresa herself!  ;) )  

Focusing on form is good.  Obsessing about form is not!  

Form is important to protect your joints and back, to encourage the “unkinking” of the neurokinetic “hose” and getting the messages more efficiently from brain to body.  It is also important for inch loss as well as lymphatic pumping.  Now, just moving around will get you some of those benefits, but attention to your form while doing T-Tapp will maximize success in ALL those areas.  

Teresa developed T-Tapp to help cancer patients, especially to help with lymphatic drainage.   Those who used T-Tapp during chemotherapy and radiation were better able to tolerate it and the side effects were often reduced.  That is pretty amazing in and of itself!  

Add to that that you can tone and tighten and lose inches in the process–well, it is truly a mind-body WELLNESS workout!  

Okay, so what about this form?!  

First and foremost–toes forward.   

“Oh come ON!”  You say? You thought I was going to start off with THE tip of the week to make those inches just melt into oblivion?!  

Well, I am!  I’m starting with the foundation and that is the T-Tapp stance!   I studied Primary Back Stretch yesterday, and I have 2 pages of notes just on that move!  That doesn’t include what I underlined in Fit and Fabulous and the other notes I received from my mentor!  

If you take the time to set up properly, you will be surprised at how much that affects every move.  It might even be to your benefit to pause the dvd between each move and get set up properly again before going on.   And mirrors are a good idea, too–I use my picture window glass! 

Really the first step would be how far apart your feet should be.  Teresa shows a tip by putting the heel of one foot in the instep of the other, then pivoting on the ball joint to get the other foot out.  You want to be right under your hip ball joint–not where you think your hips are in space!  Those of us with extra on the hips often think of “outside all this extra flesh”.  That is not where your hip ball joints are!  

The new tip Teresa is promoting now is to take a “mitten hand”–think of your hand in a mitten with the thumb stretched out.  Not 150% stretched out, just stretch it out!  Now place that between the insteps of your feet.  It will probably be a tad narrower than the foot-to-the-instep method (unless you have small feet), and that’s okay.  But if for flexibility reasons the shorter stance is hard right now, go back to foot-to-instep-and-pivot-out.   

The idea is that you should not be too wide.  The narrower stance protects your back and helps you get more ab activation when you push out your knees.  

Keep the toes forward–they may even feel “pigeon-toed”, but that’s okay.  Most of us walk like ducks with one or both feet straying out!   Whenever I watch people walk I have a hard time keeping myself from going up to give them a “tip of the day”!  :D  

Okay, toes are forward, you have them at the right width apart–now bend your knees.  For an idea of bending your knees, put your toes up against a baseboard in your home and bend your knees until they touch the wall.  Uh-huh!  THAT far!   To be honest, I have a hard time keeping them bent that far all the time, but I am getting better!  Again, you start with your point of flexibility, but most of us err on the side of not bending enough!  However, if you happen to be one of those who are very flexible, you must be careful to not bend to where your knees are past your toes.  That will injure your knees!  

Bending the knee helps engage the whole thigh muscle vs. just half of it.  It also makes it much easier to tuck your buns and curl your core better.   

That’s the next step.  Put one hand on your back at the lower lumbar area.  Now put your other hand in front at the belly button area.  Using your hands to “assist”, push the abs back  and your back flat (of course use your muscles, too!).  “No kidney bean” shape!  You are pulling your abs up and back or “belly button to spine”.   

If that is hard for you to visualize, think of what you have to do to flatten your back against a wall or floor.  Go try it (you will probably have to bring your feet out a bit to make room for the buns!).  Pull the abs up and in while also using your glutes (bun muscles) to tuck under gently.  Flatten your back as much as possible to eliminate all airspace between your lower back and the wall (or floor).   Uh-huh!  THAT much! ;)  

Next step, lift ribs.  Just think to lift your breastbone to the ceiling, pulling your ribcage out of your tummy.  This will automatically help shift your shoulders back in alignment with your hips.  

Now rotate hands so the thumbs are pointing to the side or back walls (according to your flexibility) and j-a-z-z those fingers!  Really reach and stretch the fingers apart to help activate muscles and also to help neurokinetic transmission to the ends of those fingers.  

Final step–push knees out.  Don’t roll out your ankles to do this!  You may have trouble keeping your feet flat at first, and that’s okay, just don’t roll ankles out.  As you develop ankle strength, you will be able to push knees out and keep the feet flat.  

An advanced tweak is to press the big ball joint of your foot down to help stabilize the ankle.  Newbies sometimes can’t do this without also shifting weight to the big toe.  You should be able to press big ball joint (BBJ) and still raise and lower your big toe.  If you can’t do this, don’t stress.  You’re not ready for it.   Just watch your ankles don’t roll out.  

Pushing the knees out engages that lower tummy–feel it tighten?  

Just stand there.  I dare you!  Within 60 seconds you should be feeling warm!  ;)  

That’s the stance you should be in for most of the T-Tapp exercises!   This puts your knees, hips, spine and shoulders into proper alignment, which gives you benefits just by standing there!  It helps muscular balance and takes stress off your joints, helping them to work together as they were designed to.  With improved muscle balance you can avoid injury.  

You also have more room for your internal organs to function optimally.   

You can practice this stance fairly unobtrusively while standing in line at the bank (long skirts help!) or waiting in line at the grocery store.  You can practice good alignment while driving, too!  Think to curl your core and press lower back into the seat.  Lift ribs.  Hang onto your steering wheel underhanded, rolling shoulders back and activating your lats.    

Actually, by practicing these concepts of form throughout the day, you will be retraining your muscles, and that will enhance your ability to keep form during workouts!    You will actually get benefits from holding  good postural alignment all day long!  

In my studies, I came across this jewel about posture, specifically the seeming epidemic of a forward anterior tilt (pelvic area tilted forward):  

“The stability of this area is governed by many muscles, including the internal/external obliques, the lats, the transversus abdominus, and the deep muscles on the spine called the multifidus. Tightness or instability of any of these can cause shifting of the ribcage, which can then translate to a shift at the pelvis.”  

 
In other words, keeping ribs lifted helps keep the tummy muscles engaged and the pelvis in alignment, which helps all the way down: 

  

  

“A pelvic tilt will most certainly cause the muscles of the lower limb to compensate. It’s not always easy to tell what caused what, but usually one will find an internally rotated femur accompanying a forward pelvic tilt. Simply put, this is when the knee starts to turn inward during standing, walking, squatting, etc. “  

    

I wrote this on a forum post:  

“In other words, keeping the thoracic cage (chest area) in alignment, ribs lifted, tummy tight and core curled a bit, keeps the pelvis from tilting forward, which keeps the femur rotating more outward, which helps keep the knees from pronating, which….  

 

“Well, you get the idea, right?!  

“There is a REASON for the foundation laid in T-Tapp, folks! We get all focused on “Should I bump it up a notch and do Tempo 2? Should I do short workouts in between full workouts?” and “Maybe I need to cut calories (or carbs or fats or whatevers!)” and really, what we MUST do, is just focus on the foundation FIRST!”
 

  

So when I say you really must lay this foundation, you now see why it is so important!  

Here is a quote on proper form by Dantheman from the forum:  

“Proper Form: It’s a challenge for everyone regardless of size, shape or fitness level. And it’s always a moving target. As you progress with your understanding of the Workout, become familiar and recognize you body and muscle groups, acquire new strength and flexibility, your level of Personal Max increases. This progression changes your execution ability (Personal Max)for each move. “ 

  

  

There are many, many tips on form, in Teresa’s book, (if you buy the book by calling the office, you get a 30% discount on whatever else you purchase right then!), the dvds, and on the forums (especially the Must Read Threads).  In all honesty, most form issues stem back from something in the initial stance not being right.  It’s like practicing piano.  When I teach a young beginner, they are playing with one hand.  They memorize variations of Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.   Then they learn it with the left hand.  Finally the day comes when they put both hands together!  But it’s a challenge!  Coordination flees, it seems and the hands that knew what to do separately all of a sudden can’t find the keys!  

After some practice, it’s a cinch, then comes the next challenge–playing chords with one hand while playing Mary Had a Little Lamb with the other!  Again, the hands feel uncoordinated, with one hand trying to play the other’s part.  It’s a challenge to the brain!   More practice, and that becomes easy, too.  Now comes another test!   Right hand melody, left hand Alberti Bass!  Oh, NO!   

It makes for some fun moments at the piano, as well as some frustrating ones!  

Do you see the correlation?  You can stand perfectly in T-Tapp stance….until it’s time to move!  LOL!  

After awhile you get Primary Back Stretch down. Whew!  

Now she wants you to turn the feet out at shoulder width?  And go up and down WHILE doing arm moves?!!  :o  

Again, attention to form–to her cues–will help you “practice” this move getting your “coordination” together (and making sure your legs don’t do the arms part or vice-versa! LOL!).  Then you’ll learn the next move to the point of perfection where you are right now.  Then the next.  

Then you’ll go to a clinic and find maybe you weren’t bending enough. Or you were doing okay but now your max has changed!  New tweaks, an “a-ha” of how something is supposed to feel.  It’s all a beautiful progression of form.  

And someday, you’ll be able to play a beautiful “Bach Minuet” with your body! ;)  

It takes time, some of us may take more than others.   But patience is the key and consistency (another post in two weeks!).  

Set up the foundation.  If you’re not seeing the inch loss you need, and you don’t have serious health issues or hormones totally out of whack that need addressed, see if you can get a mirrror to use during your workout. One lady on the forums bought an inexpensive mirror she props against the wall and slides under her bed when not in use.   

Or you could use a picture window or sliding glass door you can see yourself in….even a small mirror placed against the wall where you can see your feet and maybe your knees.  Someone who understands the stance could check how deeply your knees are bent.  

Clinics or working with a trainer is great, but a mirror and some attention to form while you’re working out can yield good results, too!  After all, you might be doing great while at the clinic due to all the extra cues and slower pace, but at home you could be unbending the knees more or losing your tuck/curl.  

This is why the trainers often will admonish someone not seeing results to go back to the Instructionals.   MORE has an excellent instructional, in my opinion!   Another good resource is Total Workout Super Slow.  No, it’s not one you’ll want to do every day!   And it only goes through Airplanes.  But it’s still a good one.  I split it over several days to help teach a friend the moves from BWO+ when my Instructionals were loaned out, and she felt it did a good job for preparing her for BWO+!  

Right now there is a “sweet deal” that includes the book, Fit and Fabulous in Fifteen Minutes, Total Workout Super Slow, and LadyBug workout (which is advanced, so you should be familiar with TWO first).   It’s $55 this week only for Valentine’s Day!  

And the book has a 30% coupon to use at a later time, too!  

I wouldn’t necessarily suggest this combo for someone totally new to T-Tapp, but if you have been Tapping for awhile and want to challenge your form a bit, TWO SS is really a phenomenal “clinic in a box”!    And LadyBug is a good one to throw into the mix–if you can survive T-Tapp Twist Double Dips!  

I know no one likes to go back and read the “instruction manual”, but in T-Tapp, it’s to our benefit to do just that.  I am finding new tidbits in my studies of Teresa’s book and just watching the dvds (another good thing to do to help you catch some of the tweaks you might not realize while you’re trying to do the workout–kind of like both hands together at the piano, you know!)  

I’ll leave you with a powerful quote I found by Teresa on the forums, and a link to what I call THE print-out every T-Tapper should have in her notebook!  It’s trainer Michelle Barbuto’s Curl the Core and Shoulder/Hip alignment post, and it’s powerful to practice at any time–not just during a workout! 

“Wow, I’m impressed at how well everyone is maintaining their shoulder to hip linear alignment!

The “sweat down the back of the legs” is the lymphatic indicator revealing your form.”

 ~Teresa Tapp

Here is the link to the thread containing Michelle’s important Curl the Core Tips!  (Her post is #30, at the bottom of the page.)

  

 

Until next week, Keep on Tappin’! 

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Fabulous Family Friday–The Second R of Relationships

February 4th, 2011

I left off my “3 Rs” series last fall, so I thought I’d pick it up again!

The second R of Relationships is your relationship to your husband.

Your first relationship, of course, is that to the Lord.  If that relationship is not in place, then all other relationships will not flow as well.  We need to have our hearts in tune to Him first before we deal on the earthly plane with other people!  I remember one Bible study showing a triangle–the closer we get to God individually, the closer we will get to each other.

The dynamics of your relationship to your husband are very important for the smooth working of your relationship to your children as well as to others outside your home.

The Bible is very clear on our roles as women.  What muddies the waters is our interpretation of those Scriptures!

Let me preface the rest of my post by saying I am not talking about extremes here.  I’m not talking about abusive situations, but the average Christian marriage.  Even if you became a Christian after your marriage, the things I am going to share are for you, too.

Also before anyone gets a burr in their saddle (as the word “submission” seems to be like waving a red flag before a raging bull!), I also am not addressing men. Therefore, I am leaving their parts of the Scriptures alone. And so should you!  Your husband does not need a personal unholy spirit or attitude trying to hold him to “his” part.

When I write in a card for a wedding, I write “The key to a happy and successful marriage is to focus on your responsibility and your spouse’s needs.”    That takes care of 95% of most problems!  Too often we want to focus on HIS responsibility and MY needs!  :o

The paradox of God’s ways are that we give up our lives to save them.  Too often, we’re trying to save our life, our rights, and then we wonder why true satisfaction and joy elude us.

Do you really know how to love your husband?  I’m sure you have all read or heard about love languages.  It is something my husband and I realized before we knew there was a book called The Five Love Languages!  This was about 15 years ago when we made the discovery.

You can be saying “I love you” in a lot of different ways, but if you are missing the main way your husband feels loved, then you are not being a good student of your husband.  I have a laid back “Mr. Steady”, as Mrs. Pearl calls one of the three types of husbands.   He is not very demanding at all, but he is also hard to read.  I had to learn to be quiet and really listen to hear his heart. Too many times we think we know what they are saying and thinking, but really we are just projecting our wants and needs and thoughts into what they are saying!

Many men don’t come right out and give you the power point presentation and syllabus when it comes to their goals and likes and dislikes!   Mine was no exception!  Now me, I like those “methods” and boxes to check off….but that is NOT what a relationship is all about!  Remember that in your other 2 R’s of relationships!  God and your children don’t appreciate being something on your to-do list, either!

Sixteen and a half years ago God started dealing with me about my heart attitude.  I was generally submissive….but God sees on the heart.   He saw that many times, my heart attitude was not one of submitting cheerfully and trusting Him with the results.  Too many times I was fearfully trying to maintain control and manipulate things my way!  [ouch!]

The first book God used in this journey to true-heart submission was Elisabeth Elliot’s “Keep a Quiet Heart“.    As I read that and a personal note from the lady who gave it to me, I realized I still had too many expectations on my husband.   For those of us who weren’t trained and raised with a mindset of keeping ourselves for just one, both physically and emotionally, we filled our minds and hearts with all the romantic “sweep you off your feet” and “happily ever after” stories, that conveniently ended with the wedding!  The real work comes after the wedding! 

And what most princesses don’t realize is that after the shining knight or Prince Charming has won her heart and taken her home to his castle, he can’t just sit and adore her loveliness.  He has to go back out to battle, slaying dragons, overseeing his kingdom.    In our vernacular, that’s going to work, paying the bills, and keeping up on car and house repairs!

Not quite the glamorous tale we wove as foolish young girls! 

We marry with expectations a mile long.  We expect this one, mortal man, wonderful as he may be, to be our father, mother, siblings, friends–everything that everyone else was to us all rolled up in one person.

No human being can be all that.  No one. 

You can only find your deepest heart expectations met in One:

“My soul,wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from Him.”

                                                                                                          ~Psalm 62:5

I call this my “life verse”!   God had started teaching me this lesson when I was a student overseas.  But I would say I had only barely gotten the kindergarten level before I got married!

The more a young lady can let God be everything to her before marriage, the better she will adjust and be able to allow Him to after the wedding. And the better her relationship to her husband will be–because she will not expect from him what only God can give!

Another booklet she sent to me was Looking Unto Jesus.  It is a powerful little booklet!  I used to read a little portion each day.  Thinking of this post reminded me of it, and I haven’t done that for a long time.  Time to get it out again!

I can’t stress this enough–if you cannot give all your expectations to God, you will always be disappointed.  Your husband (and children!) will never be able to do enough to make you happy or feel loved.  In fact, expectations are the #1 enemy of gratefulness.

Gratefulness is the “oil of joy” that keeps relationships fresh and alive!

An “attitude of gratitude” is probably THE #1 beauty secret, too!   It can make the plainest of us quite attractive!

If you think about it, most affairs start with just that– a wife or husband full of expectations, an it’s-about-time-you-did-that attitude, then there’s a very-grateful-other-person at work or church or wherever.  The very-grateful-other-person seems so much more attractive to the one feeling they can never be good enough to the expectations-minded spouse.   Unfortunately that is a mirage as when one leaves their spouse for the very-grateful-other-person, they both have new expectations of each other! 

Why not give the expectations to God, and start focusing on gratefulness with your spouse? 

Nancy Leigh DeMoss had a powerful little booklet (well, anything by Nancy Leigh DeMoss is powerful! LOL!) called “Portrait of a Foolish Woman”.   I believe it’s now a part of a book called “Biblical Womanhood in the Home”.  You can read this chapter here.   On page 89 of that link, there is this statement:

She is also a married woman (though either single or married women may
fit the description). She is not satisfied with the mate God has provided
and has expectations and longings that her husband is not fulfilling
(see v. 19). Rather than looking to God to fulfill the deepest
needs and longings of her heart, she focuses on what she does not have
and looks to others to meet those needs. Rather than pouring love,

attention, and devotion upon her husband, she invests her heart,

energy, and efforts in another man.

 

Too often we will pour our efforts, our attention,  love and devotion into another person.  Oh, you might not be pining for another man, but what about busyness?  Or pouring yourself into your housework?  The children?  Homeschooling?  The computer?  [ouch!]

 

There are many ways we try to “escape” when God is using these very things to bring us closer to Him.  I believe it was Hudson Taylor who said it didn’t matter what the pressure was as much as where the pressure lie–see to it that it never lies between you and your Bridegroom King.

 

After four years of working on my “true heart submission”, I was blessed to attend a Revive Our Hearts conference by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.  I had a magazine article by her and thought she had a great way of helping Christians to ask questions that really helped them “get down to where the rubber meets the road.”  I had no idea she was doing conferences nor did I know much else about her.  As I attended this conference, “Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets Them Free”, I was so convicted!  I saw I still had many deceptive thought patterns I needed to allow God to correct, especially in my marriage.  And I would say that my husband and I had a pretty good marriage! (He would have told you the same! ;) )

 

She gave every attendee her little booklet, “A Biblical Portrait of Womanhood“.  This is a must-have, in my estimation.  My copy is soon to be 12 years old, the cover has come off, there are a few stains and some underlinings…but I am reluctant to get a new copy!   There are 28 statements with a Scripture in the first part followed by her always excellent self-examination questions.  In the second part are three areas:  Thoughts, Words and Actions that Build Up, or Tear Down.

 

In each of those sections is a statement of the positive on the left hand page, with its opposing statement on the right hand.

There are thirty-two statements and their opposites, just a little more than a month’s worth.  I double up on the last day.  I read a statement each day and ask myself if I honestly can say the positive describes me…..or its opposite!   I have done this for nearly twelve years now!

 

Can I just tell you how, out of those 33 statements, after 4 years of God working on my “true heart submission”…..I only passed FIVE?!

 

Thankfully, God is gracious, and as well as my husband!  :)  

 

I had posted a few weeks ago the importance of trusting God, letting go, and forgiving.  The first and foremost relationship that should be happening is in your marriage.  I have a post perking in my mind about grace—and I think we need to remember what God has forgiven us of, which will  make it easier to forgive the lesser things others do to us (in comparison to our sin against God).

 

I posted last Monday about the importance of a smile.    You will find it hard to smile if you are always thinking of what your husband doesn’t do for you!   This is an area we must give to God.  And….we need to treat our husbands just as we want them to treat us in our weaknesses and shortcomings!

 

Eleven years ago I was challenged by a speaker to start a gratefulness journal for my husband.   I told about it in this blog post a year ago.  I would encourage you to get a blank book and start your own gratefulness journal for your husband–and yes, especially write in it when you are frustrated with him!  It will help you keep your perspective! ;)

 

May I also admonish you to not expect your husband to act or think like a woman?!    That may seem obvious, but the way we talk about men often betrays our attitude that men are just so dense or they don’t get it, or “that’s a man for you!”   What did you marry?!

 

It is also not right for men to joke how women think or feel or express themselves, but again–I’m not addressing the men!    Be careful that “In the way I talk to and about men, I show their God-created worth and value”.  (From “A Biblical Portrait of Womanhood”, under statement #3).

 

Another author who is great about getting big concepts down where we live is Gary Thomas.  I have read several of his books and have been challenged by every one! But in a good way–not an overwhelming way.  You have to be ready to allow God to adjust your attitude when you read these books!

 

His book, Sacred Marriage, has a telling subtitle:  “What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?”

 

I had gotten about half-way through it when busyness hit and now I feel I should start over!  I just restarted it, but it is very good and very much challenges you on your part.  Yes, he speaks to both partners, but as in Scripture or any other book on marriage, you must focus on the only person you are responsible to change—you.

 

Marriage, like ministry, like child raising, cuts across our flesh and is a tool that God uses to mold us into the child of God He created us to be.  Of course there are wonderful “side benefits” and it’s not all work and no play!  But the more we try to squeeze happiness out of our marriage, the more we’ll strangle the life out of it.

 

As I share my heart here, let me say that I do not think the husbands need to do nothing.   And sometimes a wife is caught in a difficult place of God working on her heart, but no seeming similar response from her husband.  Let me say it again–it is not your job to change him!  The more you try, the farther away you will get from realizing your dream of a happy, fulfilling marriage. 

 

You don’t get it by striving after it–you get it by soaking in His presence. 

 

I will have a list of books and resources that God has used to help me in my journey to be a better wife by being a better Daughter of the King, but I want to close my admonition to you by sharing what the dear, Godly woman who sent me my “Keep a Quiet Heart” shared with me.  I will tell you that this woman went through several years of her husband not being what he appeared to be on the outside.  He put up a front at church, but was cold and rejecting of her at home. He was a Christian, but he had given ground to the enemy. 

 

She is the one who told me if you don’t forgive a person before they come to ask for it, it will be difficult to restore the relationship, because you will have walls and resentments and grudges.  She chose to forgive her husband, to never speak unkindly of him, even though she felt she was dying inside.  (Let me hasten to add that there was no abuse in this situation.  Just cold neglect and rejection.)

 

Once she found the true source of joy, it didn’t matter what her husband did!  And thankfully, God did get hold of her husband, and their relationship was healed.   But I wonder if it would have been had she hung onto her hurts and bitterness?  If she hadn’t sunk her roots down deep into her Bridegroom King?

 

Here is her note to me:

 

Dear Trisch,

 

I hope these books are helpful in seeking the Lord with your whole heart.  Remember that Jesus Christ must be all your life, the Holy Spirit must be all your power and all else is nothing.  You cannot produce the fruit of the Spirit in your life–only He can. As you cultivate your love relationship with Jesus, His life will flow through you and out of your heart will flow “rivers of living water” to nourish and encourage your husband, children and all with whom you come in contact. Then you will be “dead” to yourself and “alive” to God. He alone will be your satisfation and your circumstances will never get you down.  They will just be another opportunity to glorify Hm by having right responses.

 

Love in Him,

 

Dianne

 

I pray that this will encourage you to focus again on Relationship #1, so Relationship #2 can be all God intended it to be!

 

Blessings to you, my dear sisters!

 

Resources:

A Biblical Portrait of Womanhood is available for download here.

Portrait of a Woman Used by God by Nancy Leigh DeMoss

~Available for download here.

Revive Our Hearts has two challenges that will help you encourage your husband, as well as choosing to be grateful (not just related to marriage).  You can sign up and you will get a daily e-mail with practical helps, or you can just print a download:

Encourage Your Husband

Growing in Gratitude

Praying for Your Husband

 

Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas

 

Sacred Influence by Gary Thomas

 

Me, Obey Him?  by Elizabeth Rice Handford

 

Daughters of Sarah by Genevieve White

 

Why Should I Be the First to Change?  by Chuck and Nancy Missler

 

Created to Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl

 

Laine’s Letters–if you haven’t found Laine yet, you are in for a treat!  I found her 11 years ago, at the dawn (literally!) of a new millenium.  I stayed up until 5 a.m. New Year’s Day morning just drinking in her wonderful writings!  Some particularly helpful letters are:

 

The Proverbs 31 Woman, part 2

The Proverbs 31 Woman, part 3   ( I have a print-out of these that I read over every month–mine are about falling apart, but they are like old friends!  I am reluctant to print a new copy off!)

There Is REST in Submission

REST: Remember

REST: Everything

REST: Service

REST: Time

 

Ann Voskamp had a wonderful post recently about our marriage relationship:

How to Fall in Love Again in Four Minutes A Day

 

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T-Tapp Tuesday–The Power of Short Workouts

February 1st, 2011

In my studies for my Certified Fitness Trainer exam, I’ve had to learn a lot about weight training.  Now, my experience with a gym was limited to once about 30 years ago when I was the “friend” for “Bring a Friend Night”!

If I would have had to depend on going to a gym and doing weight training to get fit and lose weight/inches, I would not be where I am right now!  I just didn’t have time for that, nor any inclination, either!

One thing doing this study has shown me, though,  is how many people are conditioned to think that they must work out for 1 1/2 hours to do any good.  I remember reading something our county Extension Homemakers office sent out that claimed you need 90 minutes of exercise to lose and 60 minutes to maintain!!!  Oh, HELP!

THE GOOD NEWS?!  

NO, YOU DON’T!!!

I think I could count on two fingers the times I worked out for 1 1/2 hours!  Well, in the beginning it took me that long to do the short 15 minute Basic Workout Plus (BWO+) because I was doing it from the book!  LOL!

But in all seriousness, I went back through my 4 years of records and 80% of my workouts were shorter ones.

Yes, you read that right!

EIGHTY percent were BWO+, Basic Tempo, MORE, SATI (Step Away The Inches), the Total Workout broken up or maybe Hit the Floor now and then.  NONE of those are over 30 minutes, with most at 15-20!

For breaking up Total Workout (TWO), you can do one of three things:

1. Simply cut the reps down to 4. 

You will be surprised how you can focus on form doing this! This is what I’m doing now to help prepare for teaching it.  Takes about 30-40 minutes, depending on how long your water breaks are! ;)

2. Split TWO over two days:

Day 1–PBS through Airplanes

Day 2–Do PBS, then Thread the Needle to the end

These each would take roughly 25 minutes.

3. Split TWO over three days:

Day 1–BWO+

Day 2–PBS, then Lunges through Airplanes (or Runner’s Stretch)

Day 3–PBS, then Thread the Needle to the end (or Arms to end)

These take 15-20 minutes each.

Obviously, you do not have to exercise 90 minutes daily to lose!  In fact, that is a good way to overtrain and actually stall inch loss!

The beauty of T-Tapp is that it is doable–three big factors draw most people in:

1. NO jumping or stress on knees and joints

2. NO equipment needed

3. Can be done in 15 minutes a day!

Add to that that your body becomes its own resistance “machine”, so you never have to do more than 8 repetitions!

What more could you want?!  All for a cost much cheaper than a gym or Curves, and you get unlimited help from the T-Tapp forums as well as the office!  (Friendly help, too, I might add! ;) )

You can take the T-Tapp form principles and apply them to sneaking moves in throughout the day and/or your favorite workouts other than T-Tapp, including walking. 

How often did I work out?  At the beginning it varied from 4-6 times per week.  I would go for some spurts of 6 weekly, then life would happen and I might get in 4.  But consistency is the main key–do something consistently!

In fact, Dan Wiley, a T-Tapp trainer, often posts that T-Tapp’s “proven formula” is based on three things:

1. Proper form (to your best ability)

2. Isometric contraction (tightening and going to your max–and that progresses,  

     too!)

3. Consistency!

If you have the first two but aren’t consistent, then you may not see the results you want!

And if you are consistent, but not focused, that also might not yield the results you seek!

The next three weeks I will be addressing each of these steps to the “proven formula”.

Lest you think I’m just some anomaly, that short workouts won’t work for everyone, let me direct you to three  great posts on Charlotte Siems’ blog (you know, the mom of 12 who lost 9 sizes?  And became a T-Tapp trainer in her spare time?! :D  ):

http://charlottesiems.com/short-workouts-revisited-2#

http://charlottesiems.com/making-short-workouts-effective-part-ia-2

http://charlottesiems.com/making-short-workouts-effective-part-1a-p-s-2#

Until next week–Keep on Tappin’! ;)

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Marvelous Mommy Monday–*Smile*!

January 31st, 2011

We had a wonderful time with our friends on Friday!  And then got to go to a baby shower Saturday–so much fun!

Now for Fabulous Family Friday–on Monday! ;)

There is a song we sing called “The Smile Song”:

Every day in this world, there are people that I meet.

I walk up, shake their hands, and they see

The kind of person that I am by the smile that I wear.

I am blessed by the smile Jesus gives me.

 

A smile, a smile to make this life worthwhile;

A smile, precious smile  Jesus gives me.

And someday I know up to Heaven I will go,

Where I’ll thank Jesus for this smile He gives me.

 ~The Smile Song, Author Unknown, Adapted by Janna DePue

 

How important is a smile?   VERY!

There are several verses about a cheerful or merry heart in Proverbs.  Here are a few:

“A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.” ~Proverbs 15:13

“All the days of the afflicted are evil: but he that is of a merry heart hath a continual feast.”  ~Proverbs 15:15

“A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.”                ~Proverbs 17:22

Scripture tells us where a smile comes from–the heart!  And how can we have a merry heart?  By focusing on all Christ has done for us!  And allowing Him to live in our heart–and permeate the rest of us, too! ;)

Just recently I had a friend at church comment how our girls are always smiling.  I have received that comment/compliment frequently!   Often the moms will tell me how they just don’t really smile a whole lot.

Now, I don’t smile all the time, either!  But, I would say overall, that I am a cheerful person and smile and laugh a lot with my family.   If we’re not careful, we can get so focused on all that needs to get done, on what’s wrong with our spiritual walk, or our husband, or our in-laws, or the world…..that we let these things steal our joy.

Look again at the verses quoted above.  All refer to a “merry heart”.  But what does that mean?

It means you will become what your heart dwells upon.  If you dwell on all that’s wrong with the world (or your family, or your homeschool, or you), then that is what will “show”.  Remember this kids’ song?

“If you’re happy and you know it, then you’re life will surely show it….”

As Christians, all the more should joy and gratitude show through our lives.  And maybe that second part is the key–gratitude.

It is hard to be joyful or have a merry heart if you are not grateful.  If you think life has handed you a bad platter, then it’s easy to go through life with a chip on your shoulder, and hard to see how you can be a blessing to others because you are, ultimately, self-focused.

We are Christ’s ambassadors, reflecting His heart and His mind to the world.   There is no room for self-focus in that!  Jesus was never focused on Himself.  He always was in tune to the Father’s will.  We have that pesky sin nature that makes it a bit more difficult, but it is really a continual choosing of where you will focus your thoughts.

I am doing a wonderful study called The Mind of Christ, by T.W. Hunt and Claude King.  (I am doing the workbook, not just reading the book.  I highly recommend this workbook!  It was recommended to me by a dear “cyber-friend”, Asha!)  Here is a good quote:

I had spent most of my life unconscious of the process of thinking.   Little of my thinking was controlled by my will….

Then our thoughts often lead to actions–godly thoughts to godly actions, wrong throughts to wrong actions.

  

The mind of Chrsist was not disordered but ordered.  He controlled His thinking in such a way that only godly actions came though His life.  This is one reason you and I need the mind of Christ.

  ~The Mind of Christ, p. 36

We need to purpose what we will think and dwell upon. Then we will find our heart lighter and more merry, which leads to the “cheerful countenance”!

In Nancy Leigh DeMoss’ book,  Choosing Gratitude, Joni Eareckson Tada writes a convicting foreward.  You can read a few paragraphs on the sample front flap at CBD.  Here is a woman who must have everything done for her—and yet she is grateful.  I haven’t read much of the actual book yet, but just the foreward is enough to give you an attitude check!

I would challenge you to focus on gratitude–to God, to your husband, to your parents and in-laws, and to your children.  Let go of some of the things that are keeping your “countenance” from being “cheerful”.

And really, just focusing on our wonderful Father, Bridegroom King and Comforter is enough to make us grateful!

As you let go of the things cumbering you about like Martha, you will find a song in your heart and a smile on your face—and your family will start reflecting it back to you and to others!

 

I found this blog, Heart of Virtue,  when looking for an audio of The Smile Song, and I thought she had a delightful post–enjoy the post and her pictures!  (Maybe when everyone is well and gets their voices back, we’ll do a video of The Smile Song since I didn’t find any! ;) )

A smile, a smile–yes, a smile from a grateful, merry heart DOES make this life worthwhile!

 

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