Just wanted my blog readers to know I haven’t fallen off the face of the earth!
I hurt my back a few Fridays ago, then a week ago we were out of town, then this past week I’ve been fighting off a nasty cold.
I will try my best to get back to posting this next week! In fact, stay tuned MONDAY for the next “Fabulous Family Friday” post—only named something a bit different! 
In the meantime, you might want to check out how we’re “going green” over at my girls’ blog!
I decided to work on “part 2″ this week and do the second R of Relationships next week–I’ve had a crazy busy week and today picked up 3 bushels of peaches that need done right NOW!
I said this would be a much shorter post–well, maybe!
Grammar…..read Ruth Beechik!
Ruth Beechik says over and over (and over and over) that you don’t learn grammar to write, you write to learn grammar. I wholeheartedly agree. And quite frankly, life is too short to work on grammar books every single year of a child’s life. I know some of you may raise an eyebrow at that, but as one who has graduated three from homeschool now, and all three can write fairly well, I feel I have a little experience to make that statement!
I think learning grammar in context is the best way. A really good resource I’ve used for that is Learning Grammar through Writing. It seems to be out of print right now, but available used. I used it more as a resource for me to teach on the spot. Really, a good handbook would do the same. Something you could look up and point out why a comma goes here (or doesn’t), whether to use lie or lay, and whether to say their/there/they’re.
Believe it or not, that is primarily the way I have taught my older daughters–and after awhile they learn to use those handbooks themselves!
Hear Ruth Beechik’s tongue-in-cheek but oh-so-true wisdom on grammar:
Did God’s voice thunder from Mount Grammaticus, “These nouns and these verbs which I give unto you shall you use with all the inflections thereof which I declare unto you; and you shall teach them unto your children and your children’s children unto all generations”?
No one I know believes that such an event occurred, but many people treat grammar as though it occurred. For over two centuries our schooling has conditioned whole generations to view grammar as an authoritarian system. Our textbooks contained all the pronouncements about “right” and “wrong.” Maybe we, personally, didn’t understand some of them, but that was our fault, we thought. It was clear–to somebody.
Here is an interesting tidbit that also might shed some light on the “study of grammar”:
Grammar teaching….was closely intertwined with study of the classic poets, and not a means for learning language. In primary school, Greek children had already learned to write fluently, and then in grammar school they studied the classic writers, and learned grammar in that context.
You would not want to imitate Greek teaching methods, since they were limited. For instance, because they had no printed books, a great deal of time was spent comparing the students’ written copies with the teacher’s in a critical examination of the text. As time went on, the Greeks lost all sense of why they were teaching the classics. Emphasis was on words and details rather than on meaning. Knowing details of the classics became an end in itself, and lost was the vision of heroism, morals, thinking and other higher purposes in literature.
Some would argue that we are suffering the same loss of vision about why we teach grammar. As a scholarly discipline, it is one of the highest uses of the human mind. But as an authoritarian system, it fails us. It doesn’t help our children write, as we hoped it would.
~You CAN Teach Your Child Successfully, pp. 165-166
True confessions–I have some that don’t know all the “technical” terms of grammar–but they can write. As usual, if I’m going to err, I want it to be on this side of that debate! 
The Language Lessons books by Sandi Queen I mentioned last week do have some gentle grammar. If you’re not using them, I suggest finding a good handbook you like (Rod and Staff, Writers Inc., or the aforementioned Learning Grammar through Writing). I personally do NOT feel you need a separate grammar “program” to work through. If it is not going to necessarily help your child write better, and it’s taking time away from real writing–why bother?!
There are a few “Charlotte Mason” type gentle grammar studies out there that I could use, if I were inclined to do something more “official” with grammar. Karen Andreola’s Simply Grammar is sweet and pretty low-key. I know it’s written for “elementary age”, and it’s mostly oral, but do you really need a scholarly study of grammar for every child? If you really, really feel they need “more”, please wait until they are older (I would say 15 or older and writing well) and maybe do Easy Grammar. But please do NOT buy all the graded workbooks, just the main book and please do NOT make your child do each and every problem on each and every page. They can go over it, do a few exercises, and if they get it, go on. The goal is NOT to fill that workbook up but for them to learn it so they can implement it in their writing!
You're not *really* going to make me study grammar, are you?
Now on to spelling!
With my oldest two, I did the traditional spelling methods. Leah used to be able to pass her tests with flying colors….then not be able to spell “with” or “white” in her writing!
I became very frustrated with the “traditional method”, and I was blessed to get a good deal on Spelling Power many years ago. I really liked it for the oldest two daughters. The next two seemed to get bogged down in it. We tried Alphaphonics for awhile, and it was helpful, but still didn’t help as much as I had hoped.
For Susannah, we found Apples. Apples 2 was okay, but she liked the first one better. Then we used (ahem…very minimally!) Spelling Wisdom from Simply Charlotte Mason. It is basically copywork, and when they are ready, you dictate the sentence or passage to them. She liked it fairly well, and I don’t know why we let it drop. She’s “graduating” now, but if she wants to pick it back up, we might!
Cassia started using Andrew Pudewa’s Phonetic Zoo. I did not buy all the cds–I thought we could make our own tapes! A bit of work, but doable! She really liked it, but life got in the way and we didn’t keep up with making the tapes (which is probably why maybe you should buy the cds…). I looked at AVKO’s Sequential Spelling, and it looks good, but Cassia decided to try Natural Speller by Kathryn Stout.
Now this is not a pull-it-out-no-planning item! But neither will it take you forever to figure out! We just got started on this last spring before my mom passed away, so it’s on hold until this fall. I basically have used a lot of what I’ve learned from other spelling programs and Ruth Beechik about testing the words they miss vs. studying a list and then testing. So I was going through the lists from grade 1 (sometimes the simplest words trip you up!). There is a little grammar instruction in there, too.
If you are brave enough to not have a “curriculum”, per se, you can use Ruth Beechik’s ideas in You CAN Teach Your Child Successfully. She has Common Word Spelling Lists for grades 4-8 in there (even though Kathryn Stout’s has grades 1-4 in hers, I again don’t think children need formal spelling instruction until 4th grade or older…usually older!). You could test them until they miss some, let them study those, help with any “rules” that might apply (but don’t get caught up in that too much!), and then retest with another list the next time.
I have actually done this with Diane Lopez’ book “Teaching Children“. She is a Charlotte Mason advocate, and her book is subtitled “A Curriculum Guide to What Children Need to Know at Each Level Through Sixth Grade” (what a mouthful!). She has a Spelling section as well as a Dolch Sight Word List in the Reading section for each “grade”. Again, I don’t advocate worrying too much about spelling too soon. But going through these lists/ideas as well as using words from their writing (Ruth Beechik advocates writing every day!), will really give you more of a well-rounded spelling program than you realize!
Also, please don’t do 20-30 words at a time! 5-10 are really enough. If you are just “testing” to see where they start missing grade level wise, you could maybe add more in just for that purpose, but please don’t give them 20 words each week (or whatever time frame) to study!
Barb Shelton (another favorite!) in her Jumpstart Navigator said that for years her children had only 5 spelling words each week. Her daughter went on to do well in college, and I believe her son is a well-adjusted adult as well!
Diane Lopez’ book doesn’t have word lists for spelling, but has listings like:
1. Phonetic and structural analysis principles
Example: silent letter(s) “ight”–bright fight light might
night right sight tight
2. Content areas
Words from the content areas should be used to supplement
the regular word list. (This is taking words from their
writing and reading.)
3. Sight words
Use words from the Dolch list and the basal reader.
4. Calendar-related words
Review the days of the week, months of the year, and
seasonal words.
Ideas taken from Second Grade Spelling section
I didn’t list all the ideas, but that gives you a picture of what it’s like. And again–this is very doable and low-key! I like low-key! 
The bottom line for me is to not stress about “doing it right” or “covering it thoroughly” but working through it gently, in context with real life writing and reading.
In all honesty, isn’t that what you do when you need to check up on your grammar? Or spelling? Do you go do a “course” on it or just look up what you need?
There may be reasons where a formal study of grammar would be helpful, but I honestly haven’t used diagramming sentences since I had to do it in high school. It didn’t make me a better writer, either.
I share all this to help you relax–you will find what works for you and for your child(ren).
And of course, above all, keep the 3Rs of Relationships top priority! If it’s causing tears (in your child and/or you!) or making you have knots in your stomach, it’s time to change!
If you want some help planning your schedule, head on over to Belinda Letchford’s blog (I love her website, too!). She has three posts on planning that are very good and realistic.
Planning Part I: Getting My Head Around Planning
Planning Part II: Writing a Study Schedule
Part III: Prep Time
And here’s a wonderful story from another post, You Are Mine, Twice Over!
I hope you find her posts helpful during this “planning season”.
As for me, it’s “canning season”!
Now we come to the second “R” of academics–wRitin’. (I’m talking about writing to express yourself, vs. handwriting.)
Of the 3 Rs, this one is the most fun, and yet can seem to be most intimidating to “teach”. It can be as easy or as hard as you make it, really.
Now, language arts is my “thing”. It might not be yours, but I am going to share some things with you that will help demystify teaching writing.
What is the reason to learn writing? It’s to be able to express yourself. Please keep in mind that not everyone needs to know how to write a short story–or a research paper. For some, being able to write up a quote for a job and maybe a love note to a wife may be all the “writing” they really need! As in all of education, having a “one-size-fits-all” attitude is not going to work well here. You may have some children who are trying to write their own novels at 9 and others who seem allergic to anything to do with the subject! The first axiom in teaching writing is, Know whom you’re teaching and why.
I have daughters who love to write more prosey things and stories, and I have one that is “Just the facts, Ma’am!”. I have another who thinks she doesn’t like to write, but if you let her do it with the computer vs. pen and paper, does very well. Had I insisted they all write short stories and novels, or had I insisted they all do research, had I insisted they all use pencil and paper, I would have killed any love of writing in my four oldest daughters.
There are some things I could have done better, don’t get me wrong! But overall, I’m going to share some very simple ways to teach writing as well as some resources I like.
Teaching to write is as simple as writing a letter. Really! The “program” I used with my two oldest was Understanding Writing by Susan Bradrick (here is another review, by Cathy Duffy, and here you can get information directly from Family Discipleship Ministries, the Bradrick’s ministry). It was the best investment I made!
Basically, you are teaching writing through the medium of writing letters. Mrs. Bradrick teaches how to evaluate your content and focuses on Christ-honoring writing. Grammar is sprinkled in throughout level 4 and up (levels do not necessarily mean grade level), and she advises taking the “junior high” years to study grammar using Easy Grammar, while reviewing and honing skills learned in levels 1-5. I admit right here that we tried Easy Grammar and I thought it was an overkill. But I have an aversion to workbooks of just about any stripe! LOL!
I “taught grammar” in context. Mrs. Bradrick has you using grammar handbooks, and although you might occasionally need to work on a concept, my oldest two daughters really absorbed a lot this way. They might not know all the “grammar terms”, but they have proven Ruth Beechik right in that they write beautifully! By the way I highly recommend first reading everything Ruth Beechik has to say about teaching grammar before you stress about it!
Understanding Writing is not something you can just give to your child and they do with minimal input from you. The lessons are well-laid out, not twaddly, and really fairly short. Older children could possibly read it and do the lessons on their own, and sometimes I “doubled” up–while practicing a concept by writing a letter, I would sometimes teach another lesson (depended on what the next lesson was and my daughters’ ability to absorb something new while practicing the previous concept).
The most wonderful part, to me, is that this becomes a ministry! One of my mother-in-laws lived out of state and loved getting letters from her granddaughters! We had a neighbor who was dying of cancer, and one of my daughters wrote her a few times before she passed away. She had told me how much those letters meant to her.
Shut-ins, grandparents, neighbors, friends far away–what a beautiful way to keep in touch!
It’s also nice that there is a purpose to writing vs. filling in a workbook that only Mom is going to see.
My girls would make a copy of their final letter to keep in their folder before sending the original off.
Another resource I’ve used is Jill Bond’s “Writing to God’s Glory“. The first part is for the “teacher” or, if it’s an older student, the student could read this part. Jill helps get you focused on using your “red pen” for highlighting all the good stuff, vs. marking up what’s wrong with a child’s writing! Again, this is not a “pull it out and hand it to your child” resource, but I personally found it good! I did some of the activities in the “teacher section” with my oldest two, then life took over and I just let Jessica finish it on her own. It’s supposed to take 2 years to work through. I honestly don’t remember how long with Jessica–we think it was longer.
Some don’t consider this an “in depth” program, but I know I am writing to many young mamas of many. To be honest, if your older child is really into writing and needs something more “in depth”, then by all means find what will work for them! But I will tell you that Jessica got started on a sweet children’s character novel simply by the section that had her coming up with a plot, characters, etc. for a story!
It’s considered K-12, with older students able to go through it on their own (although some feedback from you would be nice!).
Writing Well is the first section, talking about the process (mechanics of building a story) and the features (aspects of writing). The Craftsmen section is grammar, although again, not an in depth treatment of it (not all bad!). Jill makes it really fun with titles like “Gotcha (“Got” Is Not the Past Tense of “Have”)” and “Love is Lovely” (Overuse of words). Ideas is the section that has you coming up with a plot, developing characters, setting and research for a book. Note–you do not HAVE to write a book! But by going through those processes, you get an idea of what plot, setting and character are!
Finally is the “Favorites” section, where students will write down favorite things they like in others’ writings. First lines. Vignettes.
Jill gives a couple of “scope and sequence” ideas for working through the book.
Because I have “different kinds of writers” in this family, my third and fourth daughters did not enjoy this as much. So the hunt was on, again, to find something for them!
I latched onto Diane Hopkins’ Journal and Language Arts Program, from Love to Learn (K-5). About half of this binder is filled with papers with different sized lines for writing, with the front page half blank for a drawing. The idea is that the student draws a picture and “journals” on the lines. You don’t “grade” their spelling or grammar, although you should encourage good handwriting, you don’t “grade” that either.
Spelling grows out of their journaling, and she has spelling list pages that you can keep track of the words they need to “study”, gleaned from their writing.
Next is the “Teach When Needed” Language Arts section! She has some ideas by grade level (nothing daunting–it all fits on one page!). Then there are ideas for lessons on everything from Abbreviations, ABC Order, Addressing an Envelope to Prefixes, Suffixes, Roots, Punctuation, and Synonyms (there’s more than just that, but I wanted to list some to give you an idea). There are even some spelling families listed.
The final section is Dictation Instructions, along with four sections of quotes of various lengths to use for dictation. This was very gentle and worked well for us for awhile. Again, to be honest, no, I did not do everything all the time. But it was a sweet, non-threatening way to get them journaling. They kept their work in a binder, which is funny to go back through now!
We found Sandi Queen’s Language Lesssons series at Queen Homeschool Supply (K-12), and because life had gotten a bit insane for us, they were an answer to prayer! These are more like traditional workbooks EXCEPT—they are based on Emma Serl’s Language Lessons and are definitely Charlotte Mason and relaxed schooling friendly! Short, sweet lessons, picture studies, grammar, writing, phonics for the younger set (although not enough to get them reading–but good review), and poetry. My girls really like these. When Susannah and Cassia got to the upper levels, they didn’t care for them as much, but neither of them are prosey fiction writers, and there was more writing at those levels. I also would say the copywork is maybe a bit overdone sometimes, but that is probably because my children copy daily from the Bible. So I sometimes excused them from some of the copywork. I realize copywork is GREAT to teach handwriting and other skills, but use your discretion on this (if you have one with an aversion to pencils, maybe you would cut down how much they did).
The resource we started using last year is Andrew Pudewa’s Teaching Writing: Structure and Style. I only have the teacher’s syllabus that I’m teaching from, although I have viewed the dvds as well. With the dvds you have a very comprehensive course on writing. I’m not very qualified to tell you how it all fits together, but you do not have to buy the student dvds. Since I have seen some of the dvds, heard Mr. Pudewa speak and like language arts myself, I am fine using just the syllabus. It is definitely a more expensive option if you go with the dvds, but many homeschool groups have invested in some to share or a mom who had been through them may teach at a co-op. I really like Mr. Pudewa’s teaching and he makes it “easy” to write–I was teaching my 9, 11, 12 and 16 year olds, and the 18, 21 and 23 year olds want to be in on it, too! My one daughter who really dislikes writing the most actually enjoyed it, and my friend who is loaning it to me said her older son is in college and writing essays very well. Her younger son is severely dyslexic, and HE enjoys them! That says volumes!
I need to say that they don’t advise teaching it without going through the course. Of course, I have to be different! I had borrowed this to see if it was worth investing in, and I believe it is. So I will probably be getting my own set of dvds and syllabus this fall.
I realize all of these require a bit of investment. To be honest, if you are willing to go against the flow, you can teach a lot with Ruth Beechik’s recommendations in her books (A Strong Start in Language–good for K-3, and You CAN Teach Your Child Successfully–grades 4-8). Another really good resource that is helpful, free, and not too overwhelming (as long as you don’t keep reading all the rest and feel you have to add it in) is “Making the Transition” at Simply Charlotte Mason. You don’t even have to be a “Charlotte Mason” homeschooler to use these ideas!
The page I linked to first is “stage 1″, basically talking of short lessons, living books and narration. For younger children, that plus copywork is really all you need! But if you want to know more, click here and scroll down a bit for spelling ideas, and click here for ideas on language arts. But don’t try to do it all at once. “Make the transition”, as it says!
I am mainly covering writing as expressing yourself, vs. grammar and spelling. I will cover them in wRitin’ part 2 in two weeks! It will be a MUCH shorter post, believe me!
If you have any questions about the resources I’ve used, or if you want me to clarify anything, feel free to ask in your comments or e-mail me. I really love language arts and want to get back to having fun with this with my younger set!
The bottom line is—don’t stress and have fun! Teaching “as you go” is one of the best ways—and it works!
I had said a few weeks ago that “next week” I would write about praying for our children….I’m a little behind!!!
I actually am going to talk a lot about prayer this week.
I have been a Christian for 31 years now. Back in February, I asked the Lord to teach me to really pray. Oh, I’ve prayed these 31 years, of course! But I felt something was….missing.
I had no doubt He would answer that prayer and teach me. However–I had no idea how much He’d pour out on me in such a short time!
You may remember that I had a miscarriage November 30 of 2008. (I WILL Trust You Lord (Even When I Don’t Understand), In the Bubble of Grace) I had a real struggle over the ensuing months, especially as the Lord has not blessed us again since then. In fact, for 15 months I wrestled with Him over it. I have had a hard time with my fertility since day 1. Miscarriages, troubles conceiving, threatened miscarriages, secondary infertility….and more miscarriages. Thirteen to be exact. (Plus our precious stillborn, Noah Ross.) I struggled to be having this “problem” at the end of my childbearing years as I did at the beginning….couldn’t I have a happy “ending”?
In mid-February I finally gave it all to Him. I still hope and pray He would bless us yet again, but I am also content to rest in His will, even if it means no more babies.
I sensed He wanted me to fast. I was praying about how when a friend sent me a link about the Daniel Fast. I got the book and immediately felt this was it! My friend was going to be fasting for 40 days, so I prayed and asked the Lord to show me how long He wanted me to fast–and make it very clear from His Word!
I was “behind” in my regular Bible reading plan for that Saturday (I jokingly say “behind”–I have learned you are never behind–God always meets you there, so you are always on time! ). I started in Mark 1. I came to verse 13: “And He was there in the wilderness forty days….”
I laughed right out loud! I said, “Well, Lord, that was VERY clear!!!”
And so began a journey that has had all the markings of the best stories–romance, humor, adventure, sorrow, comfort and miracles–all right here in my home, within my own heart!
Even if you don’t want to necessarily do a Daniel Fast, may I gently suggest you read the book? I loved Susan’s devotionals, and she has such a grace-based view on fasting, that I actually was looking forward to it!
I thought I had a plan that the Lord wanted me to do during this time of fasting and prayer (I had three specific things I was praying for daily), but as many have said, we need to hold our plans loosely. And that is where the “adventure” part came in!
I started keeping a journal of prayers and what I believed the Lord was saying to me during this time. I would highly suggest you do that, as well! We are such a forgetful people!
The “romance” part came in through a dear, dear friend’s daughter sharing Mike Bickle’s mp3s on The Song of Solomon. Jessica started listening to them and would share tidbits now and then. The Lord led for me to start listening to them, so I would download one or two to my phone and listen as I ran errands (I don’t have an mp3 player yet, so my phone works for now!).
I have to say that I believe this is the most beautiful series on Song of Solomon I have ever heard! Although Song of Solomon is obviously a book about the beauty of married love, it is also a picture of the Bride’s relationship to her Bridegroom–Jesus Christ.
As I listened to this series, I was reminded of my “first love” relationship to my Beloved Jesus. My heart has been stirred and I don’t want to go back to the barren wilderness of bitterness, wrestling with Him. I want to be comforted in His arms, receive strength, direction and love from Him!
I can’t remember exactly when, but sometime during the Daniel Fast I “refound” a book I had bought 28 years ago–in Strasbourg, France, of all places! It is a book about our role and purpose through prayer. I remembered it being a good book, and kept thinking I would reread it. I finally pulled it off my shelf and started reading. I was absorbed at once! Mind you, the last time I read this book was in April of 1992!!!! And this time I finished it in April of this year!
The book is Destined for the Throne, by Paul Billheimer. I’ve decided to buy my older girls each a copy, and we are going to read it together and discuss it!
“Prayer is where the action is…Praise is the detergent which purifies faith and purges doubt from the heart. The secret of answered prayer is faith without doubt (Mark 11:23). and the secret of faith without doubt is praise, triumphant praise, continuous praise, praise that is a way of life.”
~Paul Billheimer, Destined for the Throne, p. 18
Mr. Billheimer marries prayer with praise so beautifully in this book! I’ll have more to say about praise in another post (yes, yet this week, Lord willin’ an’ the creek don’t rise! ), but suffice it to say this book should be required reading for every Christian–in fact, I think we need to reread it at least once a year (instead of only 4 times in 28 years!!!)!
After reading this book, I was struck at the awesome responsibility and privilege I have as a Christian to pray. I am not a theologian or Bible scholar. I am a woman of God who loves my Lord with all my heart, and what I share comes out of that relationship. I can’t say I will never make a mistake, but my heart’s desire is to encourage other women, especially younger women, to love Him and seek Him and realize their heritage in Him. I try to base my life on His Word. I know how easy it is to err by following “feelings”! HOWEVER— I also believe the enemy of our souls would like nothing better than to dissuade us from truly praying and listening for His voice because “we might deceive ourselves”.
If there is one thing my Beloved Savior has shown me in these past 5 months, it is that as long as my heart’s desire is to please Him and know Him and seek Him, He will guide me, and if I get off track, He will be right there to guide me back onto His path for me!
He loves me too much to just let me go off on a bunny trail when I really want to be on His path!
“Perhaps some are wondering what is the relationship of the supreme rank of the redeemed to the subject of prayer and intercession. The explanation is that prayer is not primarily God’s way of getting things done. it is God’s way of giving the Church ‘on -the-job-‘ training in overcoming the forces hostile to God. This world is a laboratory in which those destined for the throne are learning, by actual practice in the prayer closet, how to overcome Satan and his hierarchy. God designed the program of prayer as an ‘apprenticeship’ for eternal sovereignty with Christ. Here we are learning ‘the trick of the tools’–how to use the weapons of prayer and faith in overcoming and enforcing Christ’s victory so dearly bought….
The prayer closet is the arena which produces the overcomer.”
~ Paul Billheimer, Destined for the Throne p. 40
I hope you will continue to join me as I share my “Adventures in Prayer” this week!
(And for more encouragment, head on over to my daughters’ blog post about Answers to Prayer!)
I’m alternating between the 3Rs for my posts, in case you hadn’t noticed!
This Friday, I want to address the first R of the “3Rs of Relationships”–your relationship with God.
All other relationships flow from this one–if it is out of whack, so will the others be!
Young mama or older, many children or a few, you cannot afford to skimp on this relationship.
“In Him we live, and move, and have our being…” Acts 17:28
Our Heavenly Father longs to have a relationship with us–that is why He created man and woman in the first place. And that is why He sent His Son to die for us–to restore that relationship.
I have learned how much I need Him, and when I walk out into my day trying to make decisions on my own, it grieves Him. It says, “I can handle this on my own, thankyouvermuch.”
Of course, we don’t consciously think that! But why else would we think we can make all our own decisions without the help of the One Who made us?
There are seasons, of course, when all you may be able to do is read a verse here and there, and offer prayers throughout your day, and a one hour quiet time (or even a 10 minute one!) seems like a luxury!
But that’s what it’s all about anyway–a lifting of our hearts to Him throughout the day.
Brother Lawrence, a monk from the 17th century, has been an inspiration to me. In his book, “The Practice of the Presence of God“, he said that he developed the practice of of God’s presence to the point that he was never more than 10 minutes without being aware of His presence!
And that was amidst cooking and cleaning in the kitchen (which were his main duties) and shopping for the food….hmmm….sounds kind of like home, doesn’t it?!
He actually said he felt God’s presence as much or more during his menial duties as when in the chapel or in silent mediation at prayer time.
“Men invent means and methods of coming at God’s love, they learn rules and set up devices to remind them of that love, and it seems like a world of trouble to bring oneself into the consciousness of God’s presence. Yet it might be so simple. Is it not quicker and easier just to do our common business wholly for the love of him?”
Nancy Campbell is also an inspiration for mamas–especially young mamas of many! She is one who encourages you to keep a Bible at the sink you can glance at and read a verse or two while doing dishes. Or you could write out a verse or two on a 3X5 card and keep it taped up at the window (or cupboard) to read, memorize and meditate on while doing “kitchen duty” making your kitchen a haven and place of intimacy with Him–a place to “practice the presence of God”.
Nancy also shares in her devotionals and writings how she would often run to her room to kneel by her bed for a quick prayer when tempted to say something out of anger or frustration.
Susanna Wesley threw her apron over her head in her busy household to let the children know mama needed a few moments with God!
Some of this comes down to training your little ones. Even at an early age they can be trained to be still for a few moments, giving mama a few moments of spiritual nourishment. Or you could share your “nourishment” with them–reading a Bible story or looking at a picture Bible together. Instill in them early the desire to be in God’s Word.
Often when we’re single, we’re used to having these wonderful “feasts” in the Word. Even when young married, although you have new responsibilities, you may still be blessed to be feasting. Then comes morning sickness, sleepless nights, fatigue, baby’s needs…..and if you’re not careful, you can let this part of your relationship go.
I’m not putting a guilt trip on anyone here! I have been in places where I was barely keeping my head above water, and did not always keep this the priority it should have been. I had too much an “all or nothin’ ” mentality, and that is not good!!!
There were times I posted Bible verses on the bathroom mirror and at the sink. I would try to at least read a Psalm in the morning, and maybe the Proverb of the day later (naptime….before I drifted off, too! )
Looking to the Lord in prayer throughout the day can be a way you stay “in touch”, too.
I think the biggest enemy to our spiritual lives as busy mamas is the idea that it has to be a certain way. Once you free yourself from that mentality, you can be open to creative ways to meet with the Lord.
In Proverbs 7, we have a picture of the “strange woman” finding ways to meet with her lover. Proverbs 7:15 has a lesson for those of us wanting to meet with the Lord, “Therefore came I forth to meet thee, diligently to seek thy face, and I have found thee.” I actually pray to the Lord that as part of my morning prayer before I open the Word!
How diligently do we seek Him? There is a difference between being exhausted from sick kids that an SOS prayer is all you can do and that becoming the norm because you allow other things to be more important.
Only you can let the Lord gently probe your heart and see if this is just a crisis season, or if you are letting it become the way you relate to Him.
And if I may offer another area to examine–how much time do you spend reading other books? “Good” fiction books, books about being a Godly wife and mother, homeschooling books…..or websites….blogs…..all can be wonderful reservoirs of ministry to you, or they could be a distraction from the One Who can minister all to you.
If you have time to check all your favorite blogs, facebook, twitter, etc., but you “don’t have time” to spend with the Bridegroom of your soul, it’s time to do some pruning!
He has SO much for us! He speaks to my heart throughout the day, not just in the morning prayer closet! But my heart must be tuned to His voice–through keeping short accounts with Him, cultivating a thankful heart to Him, and praising Him for everything that comes my way! As the old hymn says, “Tune my heart to sing Thy grace“!
It’s wonderful to be able to read through your Bible on a plan, read 5 Psalms a day and 1 Proverb, pray through your list without interruption, but reality is, that is not what makes a relationship, any more than going over your to-do list with your husband and talking to him about the events of the day without interruption mades a relationship with him. What you have with your husband that you have with no other man is intimacy.
I love Webster’s 1828 Dictionary–the meanings are so rich!
Intimate–one to whom the thoughts of another are entrusted without reserve; to share together; to love entirely;
Intimately–closely, with nearness of friendship or alliance; closely, with close intermixture and union of parts, as two fluids intimately mixed
Our Creator, Sustainer, Shepherd, Savior and Father wants that same relationship with us. There are times you just lie in your husband’s arms and cry, no words, just tears. Your Heavenly Father also can be that strong arm and shoulder. I have cried on His “shoulder” much these past few months since my mom’s death.
There is something about shared, tender moments that knit our hearts like no amount of flowery words can. Often my prayers are a silent adoring of Him, or a silent pouring of my aching heart out to Him.
You cannot impart to your family what you do not have–you cannot impart to them “the joy of the Lord is your strength” (Nehemiah 8:10) if He is not your joy.
You cannot impart to them “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me” (Philippians 4:13) if you are not looking to Him for your strength.
You cannot teach them to “trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5) if you are looking to your own understanding and not His.
As in so many areas of life, you must be what you want them to be! They will actually surpass you (oh, praise Him!), but they must see you humbly relying on His grace every single moment of the day.
In fact, I believe the most beautiful fragrance we can wear in His presence is the Fragrance of Humility.
Take a few moments when you arise to pour out your worship on His feet, and keep kissing His feet with your life as you go throughout your day.
Helps for my Quiet Time:
Bible
Blank journal and pen
3X5 cards
I promise that next week I will return to my regularly scheduled posts! This week has been a full one, with today being our last day of the 4-H fair. This was Susannah’s last year–but she’ll be back as a helper next year! (Are true 4-H-ers ever really “done”?! )
I thought you might see how “school” fits into the fair!
How is this educational, you ask?
Can’t you see it’s engineering? Roadbuilding? Dirtmoving? (with your brother’s croc shoe, of course! ) Memory skills? (Where did I bury that red “woo-woo” truck?!)
Life-skills-learning at its best! LOL!
(Close-up of “using your brother’s croc to move dirt”!
Problem solving, you know! )
That’s stretching it a bit, you say?
Well, here is one that incorporates spelling, vocabulary, word usage, math and art!
Hangman in the sand!!!
I’m sure between my girls and I, we will be giving you many glimpses into our time at the fair!
Enjoy life with your family!
And “ham it up” a little–life’s too short to be serious all the time!
First, I want to thank you all for praying for my dear friend’s 5 year old daughter who had spinal meningitis–PRAISE the LORD it was viral! She is home and doing well–better and better each day!
I know you’ve all heard of the “3Rs”–Readin’, wRitin’ and aRithmatic. (Not good for spelling, but I guess it works! LOL!)
I have another “acronym” use for the 3Rs–Relationship, Relationship, Relationship!
(That’s Relationship with God, Relationship with your husband, and Relationship with your children!)
So today, I’m going to address the first R on the academic side–or should we call it, First R (a)?!
First the “Readin” R.
Teaching your child to read can be one of the most rewarding things in life!
Teaching your child to read can be one of the most frustrating things in life!
It all depends on your motivation and your approach! Are you teaching them out of fear of state standards? What your mother (or neighbor) thinks? Because all your homeschooling friends are? Because they’re “supposed to” know how to read by age 6? (I’m sure it’s stated somewhere in Scripture….maybe one of our pastor friend’s favorite book of 2 Hezekiah! )
Why do we teach our children to read? I mean, really?
All of those are really good reasons, but of course you know the third one is the most important. If you teach your child to read at 6 (or 3 or 10 or whatever) and they function well and successfully in society, but they don’t pick up the Scriptures and read them and allow God to speak to them through Them…..then what good was teaching them to read?
We “reward” the children when they learn to read by buying them a nice Bible with their name imprinted on it. I buy a large print Bible, making it easier for beginner reading eyes to read. So far, only one of the 4 older girls has bought a different Bible than the one she started with–and that was after 7 years!
Each little girl excitedly asks, “When will I get my Bible?!” We usually give it to them for their birthday or Christmas, whichever comes next after they learn to read. No, they probably can’t understand every word, but they are quite proud to have a Bible of their own to do copywork out of and to read for “quiet time”!
I will confess that so far, 5 of my 7 girls have been later bloomers in reading. I was worried about the first late bloomer, and one day I thought, “Isn’t this why I homeschool? To be able to allow them to learn at their pace?”
I relaxed a little and backed off being so intense. By 8 1/2 she was reading, and by 11 I had to pry her nose out of books! I remember one season I actually had to limit her reading!!!
Now, what was I worried about?
I realize there are sometimes issues that make it hard to learn to read and I am not qualified to advise about that.
So what did I use?
I started with Writing Road to Reading. Very thorough. Very intense. After 6 weeks, Jessica and I were both tired of it! I then used a “method” I had heard at a homeschooling conference. I use the word “method” loosely! There was no curriculum, no books. If you have something that has the basic phonics rules in it, that will do.
The lady sharing this used Matthew 5 to teach her child reading. No kidding! I started doing that with Jessica, and she delightedly said, “Mommy, I like this so much better than when you stand at the chalkboard and say, ‘old’!”
You take the first part of Matthew 5:1: “And seeing the multitudes….”
And. You would help your child sound this out (obviously, you have taught the sounds by now. Maybe just to these letters plus a few). Now have your child add a “b”. Baaaannnnnd. “h” Haaaannnnnnd. Even have them try the ones that don’t make words. “j” Jannnnnnd.
You get the idea!
You’d teach that in a short word, the vowel usually makes it’s “short” sound.
You might only do that for one day or several, depending on your child. Then the next time, drop the “d” at the end and do it all over again!
ban, can, Dan (could quick point out we make “mama letters” for names!), fan, man, pan, ran, tan, van.
Next time, take off the n and put the d back on. You’re off!
bad, dad (or Dad!), fad, had, lad, mad, pad, sad
Next go to “see”–the first syllable in “seeing”. You could even spend a “lesson” or two on syllables, having your child clap the names in your family. Don’t quiz them on it or make a big deal about it. Have fun!
Okay, so “see” makes the “long e” sound. Here we go again!
bee, Dee (if you know anyone with that name!), fee, Lee, wee (vocab–tell them it means small!)
Obviously some harder ones you won’t do. And if they say, “Oh, nee!” you can explain that’s a special one that they’ll learn later. Commend them for a good try!
Next is “ing”. You got it!
king, ping, ring, sing, wing
“The” would teach the “th” sound and that vowels at the end of a word say their name (or you could save that for “he” later in the verse!).
“Multitudes” has the CVC as well as the CVCV patterns. If that is Greek to you, I mean:
Consonant-short Vowel-Consonant (mul) such as “can” or “red” and
Consonant-Vowel-Consonant-Vowel (tude) such as “cane” or “rope”.
You can have fun teaching “silent e” and change words just by adding “e”! (Or the “when two vowels go walking the first one does the talking” rule).
can/cane; man/mane; pet/Pete; rob/robe…..
If that is hard to think through or follow, then the next easiest thing for me, and one I also used, was Ruth Beechik’s simple but wonderful (as anything by her is!) “The 3R Series“. The “readin'” one is “A Home Start in Reading” (although I’d buy all three!). And here is a review by Cathy Duffy. (Although I would disagree that they need extra “learning activities” to learn–mine didn’t always need that!)
Here is Cathy’s review of The 3R Series.
Even if you choose to use something more traditional, please read Mrs. Beechik’s A Home Start in Reading to demystify the whole process of reading for you!
Now maybe you need something YET a little more….structured. (That word is used sparingly around here…..LOL!) When Anna was learning to read my dad was falling and ending up at the hospital all the time, had surgery, ended up in a nursing home….so I needed something very simple. I went with a book that has mixed reviews, but we ended up liking it! Teach a Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons. Here again is Mrs. Duffy’s review.
As she states, many people are hesitant because of the distorted alphabet. But I will tell you that it did not phase Anna. She took off reading, maybe had a few times I had to remind her of blends (like “sh” and “ch”), but overall did not have any issues with it. Another criticism of 100 Easy Lessons is that the stories are silly. Well, I didn’t find any of them bad, and yes, sometimes they were really off the wall, but the kids liked them! It is scripted and easy to pretty much look over in a day and use the next. I did NOT repeat everything as often as the book said, unless a child was having a huge problem with something. Plenty of review built in!
Now Bekah and Charissa didn’t care for it as much, so I invested in something I had been wanting to check out for awhile. Happy Phonics from Love to Learn.
I confess we do not do the Explode the Code workbooks with it. I had a post, “Happy Phonics, Happy Mama!” awhile back about how we do Happy Phonics. We ? Happy Phonics!
I would go with the regular set and pay shipping–there is an e-book option, but you get ALL of it already on cardstock for basically the same price! For busy mamas, it’s worth the extra few $$!
I have taught Rebekah mainly this way, and Charissa is learning. I’m reinforcing phonics with Anna to help with spelling–she loves it, too! Noah and Isaiah want to do it with me, too–but I keep it very low-key for them, as I explain in my other post.
Happy Phonics is where we’ll stay, I believe! And no, I don’t foresee doing the bookwork of Explode the Code–although of all the workbooks out there, I would recommend that series. Here is Cathy’s review of Explode the Code–one of her Top 100 Picks!
One last resource I would like to recommend, although it is not something you “take out of a box and do”, is Teach a Child to Read with Children’s Books by Mark B. Thogmartin.
I had one daughter that did not learn the traditional “phonics first” way. That’s why I love Mr. Thogmartin’s book! He says it’s not phonics or whole-word but both. Children really do use both ways to learn, and some lean more heavily on one than the other. The same daughter learns piano the same way–none of this right hand, then the left hand, then put them together. It’s put them together from the start! But that’s the way she learns.
I am editing this to say that the free copy on the internet is not by permission of Mr. Thogmartin and Mrs. Gallagher. He graciously commented below that he has rewritten his book and it is now available at Teach a Child to Read. My apologies to Mr. Thogmartin, as I didn’t know he was rewriting his excellent book and that the “free” ones were without his permission!
Although I have an older copy of his book, I may just spring for this revised version!
Do you know what I like about most of these “methods”? They don’t require a lot of drill and kill. And they can be done snuggling together on the couch! (Well, Happy Phonics is more on the floor! )
And you know me–anything that builds relationships is TOP on my priority list!
I hope something here is helpful to you, and let me tell you that there really is no great mystery or perfect curriculum. Sometimes you just need to allow time. But when they”take off”, it is the most thrilling thing to me!!!
Happy teaching, happy reading and happy snuggling!
